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am i a rubbish mum

(9 Posts)
Imi22sleeping Sat 18-Feb-17 09:41:22

My duaghter is three shes a great wee thing social happy and bright but she is hard work (like all children im sure) but she doesnt aleep well she fights it costantaly just now she has chicken pox and is been up all through the night the first night after 3 hours i had had enough of her being knackered but refusing sleep so my husband sat up with her for about 3hrs till she went to sleep. Yesterday she lasted till fivr till she crashed out woke at 7 so was 12till she settled but settled in our bed. Then she woke at four ans was screaming blue murder at my husband im noy talkig to you etc etc she runs about slamming doors etc and then this morning she did it to up i know shes three but she was saying horrible things so i started to cry. Im not workig and weve just moved so im caring for her all day my husband has to work this weekend but he does more than his share. But i spoke to my mum and she made me feel horrible for being like that. This the the mum that used to throw my dinner in yhe bin if i didnt want it and send me upstairs for used to shout at me all yhr time and smack me but shes obbessed with my daughter and i cant do anything right she also says mums do this nums do that when doing stuff for my daughter and once said i miss u whrn u are wee and now u are back cos my daughter looks.like me but shes not me. Sorry this is grabled im exhausted ive not alept properly in four years im usualy up twice with her and before ahe was three it was 3-4times a night. Was i wrong to get upset with her screaming and shouting .

LucyFuckingPevensie Sat 18-Feb-17 09:46:28

thanks for you. You sound exhausted. Chicken pox is a fucker. Hopefully she will be over the worse of it soon.
My Mum was very strict with me especially growing up.
She is so fucking laid back with my dc.
It does sound like your Mum is trying to relive your childhood through your daughter though, must be frustrating.

Chelazla Sat 18-Feb-17 09:46:55

You got upset not nasty! Don't be hard on yourself you're sleep deprived yourself. She's 3- my dd turned into the devil for about a month then was fine again! All will be well!! As for your mum ignore her! My mum did nothing but shout and also used to smack, now she's like super nan and acts like I've round house kicked the kids if a more than raise my voice above soft dulcet tones to them! If she's so great tell her to watch her a couple of houses while you go to sleep! Chin up op it will all be ok!!flowers

LucyFuckingPevensie Sat 18-Feb-17 09:49:16

Yy, 3 year olds can be bloody hard work at the best of times. Chicken pox just adds to their fury.

Blossomdeary Sat 18-Feb-17 09:54:09

I cannot say any of my children dashed about slamming doors and refusing to speak to either of us. That is a bit OTT in my book and I admire you for tolerating it. When she is well again, are you and your OH able to sit down and decide a strategy for her behaviour? - as long as you both do exactly the same things each time and always back each other up I am sure she will improve with time.

I am sorry that this is bringing you down - you must be so tired.

As to your Mum - ignore her - it is YOUR child, not hers, and you and your OH need to work out your own ways of dealing with any difficult behaviour. I am amazed she has the cheek to voice her opinion - it is none of her business. You do not need this right now!

Lots of good luck - I am sure you and your DP will find a way through all this.

Imi22sleeping Sat 18-Feb-17 10:05:30

Thank you all so much ive developed such bad anixety since my daughters been born amd i blame myself for everything im so tried and cry all yhe time my mum doesny life nears shes 2.5hrs away but my mil is 10mins away and has barely acknowling shes got chicken poxs ita 10am and we are still in bed shea watching tv and im resting but i feel bad for this x

Chelazla Sat 18-Feb-17 10:23:40

Imi why do you feel bad! Mine are completely well, had a full nights sleep and a currently laid in my bed watching Jake and the neverland pirates!!! They got up played a bit the. put in their breakfast order and got back in bed to eat it!! Who cares it's Saturday! In a bit they'll have the bath I couldn't be bothered to give them last night because their was no school today. You need to give yourself a break! You are I have no doubt a fantastic mum. I don't know anyone with a poorly child who had been up all night that wouldn't still be in bed! In fact I encourage you to stay there!!!

Chelazla Sat 18-Feb-17 10:24:21

*there

LucyFuckingPevensie Sat 18-Feb-17 10:31:01

Same here. I have just turned teenage mutant ninja turtles off. We are all in pyjamas.
Honestly, relax. Your dd probably needs a day not doing anything too.
It's ok to get stressed when you're tired. You don't have to be a perfect angelic mother smiling through the hardships. It's fine to be human. You're still a great Mum.

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