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for those who treat it like a job

(19 Posts)
MamaDuckling Mon 05-Sep-16 16:31:03

.... Obviously it's the hardest job in the world. I know that....! I've just given up my p/t job though to relocate with my husband. DC are 2.5 and 8mo.

How do you make it work? So far I kind of hate it. At work I was super organised but have always struggled to do the same at home. I need advice on making SAHP my actual job, and then I think I might start to enjoy it more. I want perfectly packed nurser bags/lunch boxes etc. Talk me through your routines!

FlopIsMyParentingGuru Mon 05-Sep-16 16:37:02

Is there a reason that you need to treat it like a job?

FlopIsMyParentingGuru Mon 05-Sep-16 16:38:52

Sorry that was probably a slightly glib response, but I find one of the greatest benefits of being aSAHP is the flexibility you have.

SleepDeprivedAndCranky Mon 05-Sep-16 16:41:57

In the words of Chris Martin "nobody said it was easy" grin

paap1975 Mon 05-Sep-16 16:43:14

Well, I think I understand what you mean. It's the lack of structure that's the problem. So, organising your time/days/weeks into so that you do specific things at specific times might help. Also, if you're suffering from a lack of direction, set yourself some medium-term and long-term projects (these can be anything from achieving a fitness goal, to making stuff for Christmas). And if you've just relocated, make time to find new friends too.

Hastalapasta Mon 05-Sep-16 16:45:17

Sorry to hear that you kind of hate it at the moment. Unfortunately as a job it sucks, no off duty time, no pension etc....

You need to find routines that work for you and your family.

Of course there is no such thing as a perfectly packed lunch/ nursing bag but good luck!

BertrandRussell Mon 05-Sep-16 16:45:51

I treated it like a job. I found it much easier to deal with the crap bits- nobody expects to like their job all the time!

Hagothehills Mon 05-Sep-16 16:46:24

Look for playgroups/activities that are at set times and days and go to them.
I find making sure I have to be somewhere at a certain time most days makes everything else fall into place as it has to fit around that iyswim.
100% agree though the lack of structure is very tough

MamaDuckling Mon 05-Sep-16 16:51:18

That's what I'm getting at... I don't cope well without structure. I find myself with the two children on the sofa in our pj's wondering where on earth to even start....

What do you prep the day/ night before? Should we craft (urgh, the mess)?? 2yo has attention span of a gnat. He goes to nursery a few days a week....

ditsygal Mon 05-Sep-16 16:58:02

I don't really treat it as a job, but can relate to struggling to adapt to being a SAHM after years working in a busy career. I find the key to happiness is to have something planned for everyday of the week. So Monday we have playgroup in the afternoon, Tuesday and wednesday my DS is at nursery so I get all my jobs/appointments done then (and have naps as I am currently pregnant!) Thursday we have swimming lessons and Friday we have a music group and also tend to see a certain group of friends either at a park or a soft play that afternoon. Having the structure definitely helps me, as does seeing adults each day. I think for me it was actually adult company I missed most!

ditsygal Mon 05-Sep-16 16:58:40

I don't really treat it as a job, but can relate to struggling to adapt to being a SAHM after years working in a busy career. I find the key to happiness is to have something planned for everyday of the week. So Monday we have playgroup in the afternoon, Tuesday and wednesday my DS is at nursery so I get all my jobs/appointments done then (and have naps as I am currently pregnant!) Thursday we have swimming lessons and Friday we have a music group and also tend to see a certain group of friends either at a park or a soft play that afternoon. Having the structure definitely helps me, as does seeing adults each day. I think for me it was actually adult company I missed most!

MrsHulk Mon 05-Sep-16 17:03:02

Definitely helps to find a lot of baby/toddler groups - especially if you've relocated so need to make new local friends.

I don't really prep anything the night before, but then my boy wakes up pretty early so plenty of time then to get things ready. If we have an early start for a daytrip I do pack our bag and buggy the night before I suppose.

I'm not sure other people's routines will help you that much: you'll be working around nursery times, your baby's naps, availability of local playgroups etc.

For us in general we go out to groups in the morning, get any groceries/run errands on the way, then home for nap. In the afternoon we do quieter things around the house, do any housework/cooking, and usuall get some fresh air (garden or very local playground) in the late afternoon. Then it's supper, bath, bed and the whole merry go round starts again.

Does help to have some structure in the week, but I really like the flexibility of heading off to see friends etc when we feel like it!

BlondiBleach Mon 26-Sep-16 09:56:58

Hi. I floundered at the start without structure/framework/routine/whatever you want to call it. Life is so much easier for me now I have it. Hope a few of these help!

1. Empty buggy & pack nappy bag night before. Then you can get up & out quickly as with far less stress
2. Tidy before bed - waking up to messy kitchen & living area is tough on the soul first thing!
3. Have shower before bed. If you get a morning one, fantastic, but if the baby acts up etc at least you can run errands knowing you're not stinky wink I also throw on my clothes before going to baby in morning & get him in clothes when change his nappy. I find it tough to come back from pjs on couch.
4. Unpack dishwasher as kids eat breakfast so you can pop dirty plates in after meals all day. Maybe it's my tiny kitchen but this is so key to me otherwise preparing meals is a pain all day. Somehow I never quite get it together to have dishwasher run & unpacked before bed (WIP!!). Similarly, I pop on laundry when cleaning up after breakfast. I find DS is a bit more chilled in morning so try to get house stuff done first thing.
5. Be easy on yourself: plan one activity in morning (errands/supermarket/playgroup/ rhyme time/park etc) & one in afternoon.
6. Have a list of things you need/want to achieve & keep a record of what you've done. I bet you'll find you've done much more than you're giving yourself credit for. Also this helps me focus if I have bit of energy & time to spare.

CaptinMuma Sun 09-Oct-16 18:13:39

My week is pritty busy, both my kids are now in school.
Monday: volunteer at toddler group
Tuesday: clean for grandparents
Wednesday: after school tiger cubs and tie kwon doe and I am a leader at BB
Thursday: GB
Friday: gymnastics
Saturday: my daughter races moto x
Sunday: Sunday school and family time
In between there are masses of cleaning and cooking and visiting loved ones.
95% of the time I'm very happy, when they are older I hope to work a few days a week

JohnLapsleyParlabane Sun 09-Oct-16 18:22:19

Every night I repack the changing bag and clear the buggy basket. Knowing that once we're dressed we can just walk out the door makes me more likely to manage it. I also found making sure I have a handbag as well as the changing bag helps me. I know ow it sounds weird but when I was using one bag for everything I felt like I was just a baby winnebago whereas if I have my own bag I am more myself.
Also I have a list on the fridge of what's on every day locally, so if we have a slow start and miss morning playgroup we might go to the Library story session in the afternoon.

YouAndMePlus3 Tue 10-Jan-17 22:20:13

I agree with you OP and totally treat it as a job. I plan every day, and routine is definitely the key. I've been a mum since 2012 and a SAHM since 2014. If I were to outline what I would call my tasks within my 'job description' I would say:

Pick, iron and organise clothes for the three DCs
Ensure they are clean and bathed at the end of the day
Pack lunches for older DC
Plan and prepare 3 meals a day
Arrange a social trip for every day, often organising my diary a week or two in advance, play dates round friends houses, playgroups
Keep the home well stocked with food
Stay on top of everyday household chores with one big job every few days
Arrange the paying of bills on time
Keep the same nap and bedtime routine and schedule every day.

You've got to stay on top of this and motivated otherwise it'll swallow you alive!

It's harder than any paid job but at present I am thoroughly enjoying it, kids are happy and for the time being whilst they're tiny I'm happy it's me they see as thevmain care giver. They're only young once, we do however still have days where we don't leave the house, and this job makes me cry more than any other I've ever held.

VeritysWatchTower Sun 15-Jan-17 07:18:55

Messy craft doesn't have to be messy. You can put things inside ziplock bags for squishing around like shaving foam and food colouring to mush together. I was lucky to have a playroom so that all the walls and floors could be wiped up easily, a place for paintings to be hung to dry etc

Have a look on Pinterest for loads of ideas.

I had a routine, not a schedule. So certain days were library or playgroups. We went on walks, went to the park where my toddler could run wild whilst gated in.

I ordered food on-line, and meal planned for the week. I doubled up recipes and froze a family portion for the days when I didn't feel like cooking etc.

In that respect I treated it like a job. But I also loved getting down on the floor and playing at trains or cars. The fun stuff far outweighed the drudge. I have been a SAHM for 12 years!

LiveLifeWithPassion Sun 15-Jan-17 07:31:38

I think if you treat the basics like a job then you can have more flexibility.
I did a lot of what Blondibeach has mentioned.
The fact that meals are sorted, changing bags are packed and the house wasn't a total tip meant that I could just take the kids on a day out if I got the sudden urge.
Yes, do the clubs and groups for the kids but have a day where you get to go somewhere you want to.
Whether it's a gallery, a local attraction or a different city, whatever you like. The kids benefit from that too.

Do crafts that aren't too messy. Sticking bits on to paper, play doh, painting. It's actually not too bad.
I bought a book on Things to make with the kids and we did a few things from that when the urge took me. Not often but we did the odd wooden spoon doll and egg carton crocodile.

littlemummyfoofoo Sun 12-Feb-17 11:48:32

this was really helpful xx

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