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(12 Posts)
BITCAT Thu 28-Jul-16 11:47:51

Aibu to think that constantly telling a new mom that they look tired is insulting and not helpful.

FeckinCrutches Thu 28-Jul-16 11:50:05

Tell whoever it is to stop. Easy.

AllPowerfulLizardPerson Thu 28-Jul-16 11:50:07

Who keeps saying this?

Missgraeme Thu 28-Jul-16 11:50:46

Hand them the baby and say u are going for a nap!

DonkeyOaty Thu 28-Jul-16 11:52:26

its rude and unhelpful

who is saying this?

BITCAT Thu 28-Jul-16 12:01:59

It's not me. My baby days are well and truly over. It's a close friend of mine who is a lot younger than me, she's had her first baby 8 weeks ago and every post on Facebook I see people saying you look tired. Well firstly I remember what its like. I looked shattered for around the first 6months but don't need someone to point it out. I think she looks fab. I just don't think it needs pointing out, it's completely normal to be tired. She said to me basically there saying I look like crap. I told her she doesn't..and I'm only down the road if she needs me.

DonkeyOaty Thu 28-Jul-16 12:07:09

What horrid friends shock

BITCAT Thu 28-Jul-16 12:14:59

I think maybe they are genuinely expressing concern for her and as someone who has been there it's just not a helpful thing to do. All moms of newborns are usually sleep deprived. Surely it's more helpful to offer to take baby out for a walk so she can have 5 mins to herself and a soak in the tub than to make her feel crap about herself.

DonkeyOaty Thu 28-Jul-16 12:24:06

Yes indeed

"shall I pop up with some cake, you can have a bath and nap, and tootle round the block with the pram while you sleep"


"you look tired"

Is she the first out of her group to have a baby? Certainly I didn't realise how bone-tiring it was til I had my first (many many moons ago) Perhaps they don't get it?

PS you sound a terrific friend star

BITCAT Thu 28-Jul-16 12:31:30

Yes I think so. She's only 26. I'm 39, I've had 4 kids and I know only too well how knackering it is. My eldest is 17 so it's been a while for me too DonkeyOaty smile
Some of the comments are from older family members and I just don't understand how they can not see that it's just not helpful. It's making her feel bad. I'm gonna pop down tomoz with my 14 year old who will gladly take baby out for a walk..she is very competent
And I'm gonna take a fresh batch of muffins. And we can have a girly natter. I'm gonna suggest her other half have the baby for a few hrs one of the days and take her for a pamper session. Make her feel good.

PeppermintPatty10 Sat 05-Nov-16 20:49:15

You're such a nice friend!!

RebelRogue Sat 05-Nov-16 20:55:28

Dd is nearly 5 and i'm still fucking knackered all the time lol. She's a new mum ffs ofc she's tired,and sometimes she'll even look it.it does not need pointing out.

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