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A place for stay at home mums and dads to discuss life as a full-time parent.

SAHP

Great timing!

15 replies

Zippidydoodah · 22/05/2015 18:56

Today I handed in my notice! As of July 24th I'll be a sahm!

Hello! Grin

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JugglingFromHereToThere · 22/05/2015 19:36

Yay! What are you most looking forward to Zippidy? (nice name BTW)

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Madratlady · 22/05/2015 19:58

I am also a very recent SAMH after working for 6 months after maternity leave. I feel I should be doing more activities at home with my ds (18 months) now I'm not working. So far in my 10 days of being a SAHM we have moved house and I've taken him to IKEA 3 times Grin

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Zippidydoodah · 22/05/2015 20:02

Hi! Grin

I am looking forward to slowing our pace of life, and enjoying the little things instead of being in a constant state of stress. I've had a little practice the last few weeks (signed off work) and I've loved getting to know my children that little bit better. If my 3 yo wants to look at every stone on the way home, so he bloody well can! Grin

I'm also looking forward to cooking and baking (stereotypical but true!)

What do you like about being a sahm?

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ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 22/05/2015 20:03

i used to work weekends, so i've always been a SAHM in the week, it worked better for us with the shifts DH used to work.

He got a new job in jan on days, and i handed my notice in. DS has autism and DH really struggled with him while i was at work as i'm DS's primary carer.

I cant say i miss it AT ALL!

Mind you, these days i spend quite a bit of time during school hours looking after my mum since she was widowed, so my family weekends are nice and quiet!

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Zippidydoodah · 22/05/2015 20:08

I'm also looking forward to doing all the school/preschool runs and being there for my dd after school maybe even doing her homework! Grin

It will be nice to be there for my mum, too, ASorcerer. Flowers

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ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 22/05/2015 20:09

A lot of my likes revolve around being a mum to DS who has several SN including ASD

I like..

that i can take my time with the housework, take some time to watch my programmes without the kids telling me they want to watch the disney channel or netflix, and dh moaning about whatever i'm watching!

I like that i can put the radio on and sing without being told to shut up (ds doesn't like a lot of noise in the house)

I like that i can go back to bed for a sleep if i've had a bad nights with DS (some nights i can get less than 4hrs sleep, but 5 broken hours is average, it catches up on you eventually)

Ds is noisy, he chatters, hums, sings and verbalises CONSTANTLY. I like the silence.

I like that i can make phoncalls, do my shopping and just go out the house to get stuff done without having to plan for him and make sure i have everything i need to keep him happy.

Those hours between 9 and 3 are like a little piece of tranquillity and normality for me. Its nice.

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Finola1step · 22/05/2015 20:38

I'm making the big move in a way. Resigned in February, finish 17th July (Assistant Head). Have been in the job for 19 years. I wont be a SAHP in the traditional sense of not earning any income as I will be studying and doing some tutoring. But my days will look very different and will be far more focused on the dc and our home life.

I'm mostly looking forward to being able to go to my own dc's school events such as assemblies and sports days.

I'm looking forward to not having to leave the house at 6:30 am on wet, freezing cold winter mornings.

I'm looking forward to not be feeling guilty for willing my dc to go to sleep because I've got work to do, reports to read, data to analyse etc etc.

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Zippidydoodah · 22/05/2015 21:05

Finola- can't copy and paste on my phone- but your last paragraph, exactly. Word for word.

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Zippidydoodah · 23/05/2015 09:14

Ok ladies. Feel a little flat today.

Does anyone have any regrets about jacking in their job?! Too late I know, and I know deep down I've done the right thing.....but I'm terrified.

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ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 23/05/2015 10:04

i have the odd little sudden attack of panic about it financially, and stress about finding a new one if i have to, but thats because i worked there for 10 years, and while it was just pocket money, it kept us ticking over.

but then i remind myself that i have enough skills that i can always sign up with the temp agencies to do the odd bit here and there if i need to just boost the money and DH can also do overtime which he's choosing not to right now.

I'm also trying to teach myself to make stuff to sell :) i'm pretty good with a needle and thread and can make little toys and bags and things to flog! I can also knit scarves and squares to make blankets. So i'm trying to get my butt in gear with that so i've got some things to sell come autumn!

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Finola1step · 23/05/2015 14:33

Hi Zippi. I get the odd flat day too. Or I get that panicky feeling and wonder what in earth I'm doing. I tell myself that it is just a natural reaction to change. I hope.

But I do know that I don't want to turn around in 10 years time and realise that my dc are teenagers who have their own lives. That I will have missed the boat to be the mum that I would like to be.

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ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/05/2015 17:15

Zippidy - break down what scares you about it - is it loss of financial independence, fear of boredom, loss of "you" or something else?

I became a ft SAHM when we emigrated to Australia (DH is Aussie) - it was part of the "deal" because I was self-employed and WAHM in the UK, but couldn't start that up immediately when we got here because it wouldn't have been safe (random people coming to the house with a toddler in, as opposed to well-known clients coming to the house in the UK).

I didn't like the loss of financial independence, although DH gave me his visa card to use whenever and for whatever I liked/needed; so I got him to set up a monthly transfer into a savings account for me. I did object to him calling it my "pocket money" but it was only tongue in cheek on his part, honestly it was. That gives me access to cash, which we still need every now and then, but also allows me to "surprise" him with presents because he knows nothing about them. We also have a joint bank account now (didn't to start with but it didn't take long before I sorted that) so that I can access ALL the money if I need to, should anything happen to him (God forbid!)

I really enjoyed being SAHM to DS1; and when he went to school, I'd just had DS2 so plan to be ft SAHM to him as well, until he at least goes to pre-school, which he'll do when he's 4. Then I'll start doing something again; not sure what yet but something. Probably start work in a clinic before I build up to WAHM again, that was my favourite outcome!

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morethanpotatoprints · 26/05/2015 18:05

hello Zippidy

Don't worry, the main thing is you are happy with your decision i.e your free choice, so any little doubts will be just that.
What do you like doing and will you be able to find a babysitter so you can pursue your own interests.
In terms of finance it has always been our money and dh looked at it as though me being at home with dc was as important as earning a wage. I have always managed all the household and business finance so it never felt like a loss of financial independence.
I have no regrets after 24 years as a sahm and feel as though I've managed the family really, as stupid as that sounds.
Dh is as active with domestics if not more so than me and always there for the dc, but I feel as though when he goes off to work I'm solely in charge, which is great.
I suppose it depends on your circumstance, but the biggest bonus for me was being able to be in charge of my own life and time, not answerable to anyone else. In short, I love the freedom.

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Patilla · 07/06/2015 21:44

I love being a SAHP. In particular now my eldest is at school it's really nice to not have to panic about annual leave to make the assemblies, parents evenings that really are parents afternoons etc. and it's great to be able to have DS have friends over and vice versa, and just get to know people locally as we walk home with friends.

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hesterton · 07/06/2015 21:50

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