Rural vs teenage children

[Evbev]

Hi this is a difficult one. Very hard to rent where we are houses come up rarely
We live in a very built up area - we don't like how built up it is, son can walk up the road to play sports in park
We can rent somewhere that has come up and is private and better house but our son wouldn't have the freedom any more to walk to anything
Has anyone any experience of this?

[lazydog]

I have the take on it that, since it's me that is really attached to living rurally, whereas the kids would prefer to live closer to their friends, it's only fair for me to be willing to take on the role of regular taxi driver. They're happy enough with that, and I still get my dream location. :)

[DieselSpillages]

depends if there's any public transport available. As Ds gets older you will find taxi driving gets later and later.

[Evbev]

Good point Lazy dog!

[Evbev]

Good point Lazy dog!

[Evbev]

Rudymentary what is DS?

[weegiemum]

We used to live very rurally (village of 4 houses, 15 miles from a shop!) and in the end it was lack of freedom/opportunity for our dc that made us reconsider. We now live in a big city, but still visit the rural area frequently in holidays.

[YoungBritishPissArtist]

I was a rural living teen (my parents' choice, not us DC) and it was miserable. I moved to the Big Smoke as soon as I could and it's bliss

Also, don't assume that rural living is more sheltered for your DC. At my school (very rural, in the 90's) people were doing E and giving blow jobs in the toilets at lunch time.

[peanutbutterandoreos]

DS means dear/darling son

[Evbev]

My DS says he doesn't mind - he and my other child are excited about it.

[justwondering72]

I was a rural teen, grew up on a farm. My parents had the view that lazy dog does- they chose to live in the country, so they were the taxi service for my sis and I. Gave us lifts to everything; Saturday jobs, after school stuff, music lessons, sports clubs, then eventually pubs and clubs!

We have thought about living rurally since having children, but tbh I don't think we ever will. No parks, no pavements, no friends and totally reliant on the car. Both my sister and I live right in the middle of big cities by choice.

[Trills]

It's not just teenage hood that you have to think about.

How old will DS be when he's first allowed to walk to the shop on his own? Never, the shop can't be walked to.

[elastamum]

I live rurally and my DC have friends scattered all over the county. I just drive them wherever they want to go. You cant walk anywhere from here - no pavements aqnd too far.

DS1 intends to learn to drive as soon as he can and I have promised to buy him a car. We have discussed moving into the village, but they both say they like where they live.

[JimmyCorkhill]

It depends on how nice you are as parents. My mum was a right cow reluctant about driving us anywhere. Also we couldn't get part time jobs because we had no way of getting to and from work. This meant we were isolated and unable to have our independence (we lived 8 miles from any sort of civilisation!)

On the plus side it meant that we really banded together in friendship groups as a simple night out/meet up meant organising taxis/somewhere to stay. And you can play your music REALLY loudly as the neighbours are so far away

[Hakluyt]

We live rurally and while we all love where we live I would never do it again if I had my time over. I spend a significant amount of time and money driving my children around- I have already done a 30 mile round trip today and will do another this evening, for example.

[ThursdayLast]

I grew up on a farm.
I did a lot of walking, and mum and dad gave a lot of lifts. I didn't learn to drive early (I mean at 17), but most of my peers did.

If you HAD to move there, I'm sure you would and your teens would have to lump it wouldn't they??
You're paying the rent.

[Evbev]

not sure last post worked? My big worry is the financial cost it could add (having to get another car and petrol) and also would i be ok at night if i were alone! silly i know

[JimmyCorkhill]

My mum lives mainly alone in the middle of nowhere (we've all left home and Dad works away). She keeps dogs to make her feel safe. They would be completely hopeless with an intruder (would be very friendly!) but she says she can attribute any noises to the dogs and not get scared. So add dog costs to your list!

[ErrolTheDragon]

We live rurally, and DD goes to school 20 miles up the road - it does bother me a bit that she misses out on socializing. But at 15 she can stay to do stuff after school and either get a later bus or we'll pick her up. Its easier now they've all got mobile phones, and also in reality a lot of teenagers 'socialising' is online anyway.

So maybe weekdays your DS would be able to do sports etc near his school? Weekends might entail ferrying/buses (we're fortunate that DDs favourite activity is something we do too, which would be a drive wherever we lived anyway)

[Evbev]

Thanks for all the opinions - really helpful. The boring practical part of me won and we are going to stay put - the financial strain is deciding factor and the ease of school bus etc.