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He punched me in the face.

(539 Posts)
NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 03:35:40

I don't know if anyone's awake. I am in a bit of a mess, in lots of ways. My H went drinking last night. He has form for being aggressive and nasty when drunk, though never violent towards me before. About a year ago I threatened to end things and he stopped drinking altogether. All of our issues stemmed from his drinking so I gave it another chance.

He started having just one glass - excuses like not making other people feel strange. Then going out when he was staying with friends. Last night he went to a work do, initially he said he would come home for DCs bed time, then that he would go straight from work and come home early. He got back after midnight, O heard him falling around, he went into the spare room.

About 3 he came into our bedroom and got into bed. He lay half on top of me hugging me and put his duvet over us. I was annoyed he had woken me again and said "what are you doing?" He said "I was trying to be nice you fucking cunt". I went to the toilet and when I came back he was across the whole bed and on my pillows. I wanted to go to the spare room and pulled my pillow out from under his head - I did do this quite roughly as I was annoyed. He jumped pit of bed, pushed me across the room and punched me full force in the face. I screamed and said I would call the police and he got back into bed. I could feel lots of blood.

I have a cut on the bridge of my nose which bled a lot, it's still oozing blood now. My nose and forehead are going to be bruised. I am in the spare room and have locked the door, he is quiet.

What the hell am I going to do? Our marriage is over, I am not letting my DCs grow up in a home where this happens. We are supposed to have H's friend and his DC stay tomorrow, I am going to tell him to cancel it. But then what? I think I need to tell him to leave, but I can't afford the house on ky own. What will I say to DCs? And what will I tell anyone, especially work, about the state of my face? I feel in shock.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 12-Apr-14 03:41:33

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Can you call the police and have him removed?

Do you need to go to hospital? Don't worry about anyone else other than you and DC.

If you think you are in any danger, get up and go now, take the DC, tell them you've had an accident if you can't face telling them yet.

mumblechum1 Sat 12-Apr-14 03:42:32

I'm so sorry this has happened. I strongly recommend that you call the police on 999. If you don't have your phone I will do it for you.

They will arrest him, keep him locked up till tomorrow then release him on police bail which will include his not returning to the house until the mags have dealt with him. I'll let you read this and repost in a sec

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 12-Apr-14 03:44:13

And he's an utter fucking bastard.

You can get him out now, he assaulted you in your own home and has no right to stay. Call the police if you can face it. Please. I'm worried about you.

Dirtybadger Sat 12-Apr-14 03:45:54

Call the Police. Get in contact with women's aid and citizens advice. Even if you don't want the him charged its important you report the domestic violence. It will give you access (or a better chance of access) to legal aid in civil proceedings relating to your break up etc and it will allow a court, if needed, at a later date to make an appropriate decision on his ability and safety to parent your children.

Oh and obviously see your gp (or of necessary visit hospital) if you suspect more than a bit of bruising. Maybe best to take a picture if you've a camera, too.

I am so sorry that your h has done this to you. You don't deserve it. Sounds like you know that.

RiaOverTheRainbow Sat 12-Apr-14 03:46:10

God, that's awful <hugs>

I think calling the police would be a good idea, if not tonight then tomorrow. As to the practicalities I can't advise but Women's Aid should be able to help - 0808 2000 247.

LettertoHermioneGranger Sat 12-Apr-14 03:47:02

I'm so sorry. I think you should do as you said, ring the police. It won't do your or your DC good to not report it. It may be best to press charges against him.

As PP said, if you're in danger, take the children and run.

It's typical to be in shock after something like this. Focus on you and your children. Don't worry about friends staying or work, take this one step at a time.

mumblechum1 Sat 12-Apr-14 03:47:26

So far as all the other stuff goes, forget it until tomorrow. With this type of incident you really can't delay even for an hour. The police will get you to make a statement, probably tomorrow and will take photos of your injuries and if you can bear it you should take some selfies now.

The police will take this seriously and will protect you but you must act quickly.

I've been through this myself and know you will be in shock, use this anger and pain to get help to find a way out of this situation xx

headinhands Sat 12-Apr-14 03:48:10

need call the police. Call them now and get them to come and remove him.

MsAspreyDiamonds Sat 12-Apr-14 03:48:54

Call the police & get some medical attention. Is there anyone you can call to.wait with you & keep you company?

Call womens aid on their free 24hr helpline for advice.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 03:50:32

Thank you for answering, I feel very alone right now. This might sound stupid but I didn't call the police because of H's job - it's one where a criminal record is a big problem. Him losing his income wouldn't help me. I don't think it needs hospital though it's continuing to bleed and my nose is really sore.

I don't know what to do. He has ruined everything. Our older DC will be devastated. We will have to sell the house. I have to apply for the job I'm in to get permanent employment and the closing date is next week - what are they going to think if I turn up with my face in this mess? I don't earn enough to stay in the house on my own.

I used to love him. He put drink before me and DCs.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 03:54:47

Lots more replies, thank you! It's great to know friendly people are there. He usually sleeps it off at this stage so I don't immediate danger, and I have locked the spare room door. My mind is spinning.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 12-Apr-14 03:56:59

If it hasn't stopped bleeding you need medical attention. Please get help asap.

If your H's job was that important he shouldn't have assaulted you. HE did this, not you.

You really need to contact the police. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how this feels for you, but it is the only way to keep you and the kids safe.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 03:59:57

Oh God I hadn't even considered court or access to DCs. I'm so scared I will let this get pushed under the carpet and he promise to stop drinking again. I have to be strong, I can't let my DCs grow up thinking this is normal.

headinhands Sat 12-Apr-14 04:00:08

Op would you expect anyone else to protect him this way? Would you expect a stranger to not complain if he punched them in the face? The best thing you can do is model to the children how totally unacceptable punching people is. Maybe he shouldn't have that job if he has this problem.

headinhands Sat 12-Apr-14 04:01:51

Call the police op. It's the right thing to do. Do it now.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 04:03:19

Sorry posting on my phone so it's slow. Coffee he would lose his job if I call police, I know tjat would be his fault but DCs would suffer if he can't support them financially.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 12-Apr-14 04:07:14

Need, your DC are going to suffer because he hit you. I'm so sorry to be blunt, but whatever happens they will be affected.

Please don't let him get up tomorrow and say he's sorry and your children have to see that it's OK to be violent. If you won't call the police can you try Women's Aid as another poster suggested.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 04:08:46

I am protecting him aren't I? Oh God I don't know what to do. This feels like a nightmare. I work in a related area to my H, it's a small world. I feel so ashamed and just devastated. I really thought we could make a go of it when he stopped drinking, what an idiot.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 04:09:45

Thank you Coffee . What do Women's Aid do?

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 12-Apr-14 04:11:29

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing.

Please call the police. It's out of your hands in many ways, it is unlikely that a friend or family member won't do it on your behalf.

Do it now, so you and your children can be safe tonight.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 04:12:33

Am googling it now.

NeedAdvice2014 Sat 12-Apr-14 04:13:41

Sorry Coffee cross posts. I meant thank you for being there, I am googling Womens Aid.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Sat 12-Apr-14 04:14:20

Women's Aid will talk you through your options and do everything to ensure your safety. But they are also likely to advise phoning the police.

mumblechum1 Sat 12-Apr-14 04:15:37

If you don't want to involve the police then deal with it through the civil court by getting an injunction. See a solicitor first thing mon and you will prob. Get an emergency injunction mon or wed. You will still get legal aid as it's DV.
He won't get a criminal record but you will get the protection for a year while the divorce is sorted.

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