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Lap dance at stag do

(550 Posts)
worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:16:16

I'm getting married a week today. Dp's stag was last night. He knows how I feel about strippers, and that I don't agree with it. He had a lap dance in a stretch hummer. I feel disgusted thinking about a naked woman grinding on his lap- I feel like he has been unfaithful. How do I get over this?

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Aug-13 10:18:03

Did he tell you about it or did you find out another way?

worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:20:23

He told me. He was disgustingly drunk when he got in. Two of his friends slept on our sofas and were going on about the stripper this morning as well and how amazing she was!

CVSFootPowder Sun 04-Aug-13 10:27:54

The friends are arseholes saying that in front of you.

Lap dances in hummers now? I imagine that required some contortions...

Do you mean he told you when he was drunk, or he quietly sat you down when he was sober to tell you?

clam Sun 04-Aug-13 10:28:23

Hmm. Tricky. I assume one of his mates organised it? In which case, it wouldn't have been that easy, particularly once the drink was flowing, to look the other way.
<hugs to you though>

worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:33:42

Very out of order of his friends. His best man joked that dp 'licked her minge' just to rub it in. He told me when he was drunk and we talked about it when we got up this morning. But his friends talking about it, saying that it is animal instinct, when I told them I didn't agree with it, has made me feel physically sick. I don't want dp to touch me. He had a choice, he could've told her to get off, but he didn't.

shameshame Sun 04-Aug-13 10:34:16

Tricky if you are getting married in a week - had you already expressed your dismay/that this was a deal breaker? Are there any other issues or is this a one off mistake? I don't think i'd call off my pending marriage because of it but I can't abide this kind of shit. Just because the P doesn't enter the V doesn't make it right.

shameshame Sun 04-Aug-13 10:35:25

If it was a stripper organised by the stags I would feel differently than if he'd actively PAID for a lapdance.

RightsaidFreud Sun 04-Aug-13 10:35:41

Wow, his best man sounds like an absolute prick. I wouldn't have him at my wedding if he came out with that crap.

worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:36:00

Shame thanks, I agree. In any other situation, having a naked woman on top of you is cheating, I don't get why this is seen as acceptable as the stag? I can't call off the wedding, I do love him, but he knew this was something I hate and he chose to disrespect me.

worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:37:15

I was shocked that he said that. They are 28 and not teenagers. My dp didn't say anything when the best man said he licked her minge (his exact words!)

MexicanHat Sun 04-Aug-13 10:37:15

Oh the best man's speech should be a corker hmm Pathetic.

I woudn't be marrying someone who'd had a lapdance from a naked woman - how disrespectful. And a stripper too. Nice. Sorry I know eveyone has their own limits but it would be a dealbreaker for me. And his friends sound about 12.

So sorry OP, how horrible for you.

worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:39:43

Dp says that she was on top of him for a matter of seconds before he told her to get off... But he would say that wouldnt he. It was arranged by the best man. How disgustingly stereotypical and tragic. And apparently I need to 'get over it' as it has happened.

RightsaidFreud Sun 04-Aug-13 10:39:58

I really dislike that stag mentality. Perfectly reasonable, sensible men seem to turn into utter idiots when they get together and the alcohol is flowing. Does he understand how upset you are?

worrybynature Sun 04-Aug-13 10:42:22

Yes he knows how upset I am, ring is off and I'm crying in bed.

CVSFootPowder Sun 04-Aug-13 10:43:32

I'm quite surprised that the friends have mentioned it. IME, guys tend to close ranks on stuff like this and keep it quiet.

I feel really sorry for you OP, this is a horrible thing to deal with a week before your wedding.

Branleuse Sun 04-Aug-13 10:44:47

so would he be ok if you sucked someones cock on a hen night?
animal instinct .

id call off the wedding

CVSFootPowder Sun 04-Aug-13 10:46:43

Well if he thinks you should just get over it, tell him your friends are arranging for you to get your minge licked by a hot, fit young guy who is going to grind naked on top of you and stick his arse and cock in your face for 10 minutes while all your friends watch.

clam Sun 04-Aug-13 10:47:50

Sorry, WHO told you to "get over it?" Your OH or his mates?

At the very least, that wanker would not be best man at my wedding.

ImperialBlether Sun 04-Aug-13 10:48:23

He licked her genitals and can't see why you are bothered?

What's that saying about judging someone by the company they keep? He is mixing with some really horrible blokes, isn't he? At what point do you think he is different to them?

RightsaidFreud Sun 04-Aug-13 10:49:53

I agree with clam, the best man should not be part of the wedding.

shameshame Sun 04-Aug-13 10:50:10

worrybynature - You are hurt and in shock but don't do anything rash. To be honest if it was organised by the best man (who sounds like a prize cock) I would give your DP the benefit of the doubt ON THIS OCCASION ONLY. He didn't actively go to a strip club or pay for a lapdance. He wasn't active in making this happen. Like other posters said - the best (worst?) man does not deserve to be at your wedding.

shameshame Sun 04-Aug-13 10:51:24

I doubt he did 'lick her minge' people! Strippers don't generally tolerate that sort of thing! Sounds like best man stirring things up like a complete dick.

RightsaidFreud Sun 04-Aug-13 10:52:16

Agree with everything shame has said.

SlimePrincess Sun 04-Aug-13 10:52:32

"Get over it" that's so nasty of them. I'm furious on your behalf.

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