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Do you love your husband more or kids more

(40 Posts)
jessivivi32 Sat 03-Aug-13 16:56:16

Discussing it with my mother the other day. She said , she loves our dad more than she love us.
But i think , that's understandable as she is married to my father for like 40 years now . But what about younger moms like us ?
Do you love one more than the other ?
Personally , i don't think i love my husband more. Its very different , not more or less.

Somethingtothinkabout Sat 03-Aug-13 17:06:56

I think this thread was deleted a few months ago...

InTheRedCorner Sat 03-Aug-13 17:08:28

It's a different kind of love.

BOF Sat 03-Aug-13 17:11:18

The dog's my favourite.

Relaxedandhappyperson Sat 03-Aug-13 17:12:53

One colleague asked another this one day at lunchtime (well, it was wife or child).

I was totally shock that anyone should ask someone they didn't know very well such an intrusive question. The questioner was relatively new to the country though so maybe it's a normal question in China.

Yonilovesboni Sat 03-Aug-13 17:12:55

I don't have favourites, they all annoy me equally!wink

shallweshop Sat 03-Aug-13 17:14:46

Personally, I don't think you can compare the love for a husband/wife with the love for your kids - its a totally different kind of love.

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Sat 03-Aug-13 17:15:40

Kids, no contest. Kids are yours for life, husbands no always so. I am happily married btw.

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Sat 03-Aug-13 17:16:02

Not always..

BOF Sat 03-Aug-13 17:19:28

It's a stupid question though- you might as well ask if you prefer eating or drinking.

Ragwort Sat 03-Aug-13 17:19:29

I love myself most grin.

Agree with shall - surely romantic sexual love is totally different to the love you should feel for your children? So I would say I love them both the same, but in different ways.

However I am pleased that (hopefully) I will get to spend lots of quality time with DH when my children have left home, I am not one of those mothers who hopes their children will never leave them.

nethunsreject Sat 03-Aug-13 17:21:01


pumpkinsweetie Sat 03-Aug-13 17:21:16

There are many types of love, it's a shame we only have one word for each type. In greece they have different words for love of different meanings.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 17:21:40

Totally different love.

But I knew the instant they were born that not only would I die to protect them but I was equally capable of murdering to protect them.

Not sure I have the same instinct towards DH. I love him very much and I am very happily married and I know I would be devastated if anything happened to him. However, if the worse happened and I lost him, I believe in time I would heal. There is no healing after the loss of a child, ever.

Branleuse Sat 03-Aug-13 17:22:20

oh one of these threads!!!!

I quite like all of them tbh.

kids are cuter but dp is less annoying

pumpkinsweetie Sat 03-Aug-13 17:24:46

Also agree with katherine toosmile

SupermansBigRedPants Sat 03-Aug-13 17:26:33

I prefer the big bob the builder teddy. Less back chat and annoyances in general. The fireman sam one is ok too.

MaryKatharine Sat 03-Aug-13 17:27:46

Yes, I think if there was a 'Sophie's Choice' style of thing between husband and child then my child/ren would, without a doubt be chosen over DH.

However, it's definitely him I want to spend the rest of my life living with rather than them. Apart from making love to me, he also brings me tea in bed and rubs my feet for hours without complaint.

NickyNackyNooNoo Sat 03-Aug-13 17:31:05

Kids come first no contest!

Although 'D'H does make a mean cuppa and keeps my alcohol supply topped up. Having said that I only started drinking alcohol after we married hmmm

LyraSilvertongue Sat 03-Aug-13 17:33:40

Can those of us with a partner answer or is this question for marrieds only?

MrsPresley Sat 03-Aug-13 17:34:27

Oh I definitely love my "husband" more, my kids know Elvis is always first with me grin

Seriously though as someone said ^^up there, it's a different love, totally totally different. If I really had to choose though, my kids would come first, every time except if Elvis was part of the choice

ShowOfHands Sat 03-Aug-13 17:39:47

I love David Mitchell the most.

joanofarchitrave Sat 03-Aug-13 17:43:57

With dh, love is a kind of a decision I make most days every day.

With ds, it's just kind of there.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sat 03-Aug-13 18:04:16

I very much hopd that partners and children are loved in totally different ways.
Really, you can't rank them because romantic love is a totally different emotional to maternal love.
We'd do better to have different words!
If you mean who would you CHOOSEas though choosing was a way of ranking love, then it should be based on need. Your children when young, rely on you for their very life so your primary duty is to them.
But, again, not black and white because it is important to balance needs within a family.
If you want to measure it by who you would carry out of a burning building! Then my kids. That's maternal instinct.

perfectstorm Sat 03-Aug-13 18:14:10

My husband is my best friend and the best person I know. The thought of ever losing him is unspeakable, and I can think of nothing better than being with him forever. If I do my job right, my son will leave home, and rarely look back, building his own family to which we'll be a peripheral element. And I can't rely on or confide in my DS, either, so he's not the huge emotional support my husband is.

But if I had to choose who to throw out of the hot air balloon basket? Um, I'd jump, actually. If I had to save only one of them somehow? DS. Your child, and biological imperatives take over, I think. That's the difference. My head and heart love my husband. My son, and it's from the gut.

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