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should husband's partner's income be taken into account for maintenance calculations?

(71 Posts)
ginger57 Mon 08-Jul-13 11:59:11

Hi, my first post, hoping someone might have some useful tips/info. Sorry if this gets a bit long and convoluted!

H and I separated some time ago but had to go on sharing house and bed platonically for a few years due to financial situation. Things were difficult but as amicable as possible under the circs. About 3 and a half years ago he started an affair with someone a lot younger (we're both 55, she's 40ish). 2 years ago we finally managed to sort out actual physical separation, he rented a flat and went on seeing her, I stayed in the house until we agreed to sell last year. They have now moved into rented accommodation and I have bought a 70% share of a housing association flat with my half of the house sale.

I have been out of work for 2 years now and am on JSA (I went back to uni to improve my work prospects and haven't worked since) and I'm getting less confident of finding work by the day. This means that much as I would love to be completely independent of him he will have to go on paying me maintenance. He does pay me what he can at the moment but it isn't enough - I live very simply but I have to rely on overdraft and credit card (with low limit) to get by.

He runs his own very niche small business which doesn't make him much money - the profits go back into the business - so I know he probably can't afford to give me much more. The 2 year separation is up at the end of July and I want to get on with the divorce asap, so I've sent him a breakdown of my finances and asked him to do the same so that we can present something we've agreed on.

So my question (finally!) is does he have to include his girlfriend's income as well? Will the court take that into account when deciding if our calculations are fair?

I don't know if its relevant but we have two grown up children, DD lives with me as she has AS and dyspraxia, DS is working and house-sharing with friends. DD has just lost a second job because of dyspraxia, she is trying to build up a career as a TEFL teacher but she is also on a low income. H had a baby last year with girlfriend, possible the stupidest thing he's ever done but that's a whole other story, however I am aware that it will probably complicate everything. GF has a son of 20ish at uni.

Pause for breath. Any thoughts? Many thanks in advance.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 08-Jul-13 12:02:55


TheWysticManker Mon 08-Jul-13 12:06:03

No they wont. Why on earth do you think another woman should have to support you ?

ImperialBlether Mon 08-Jul-13 12:08:07

Of course not. And you're still young enough to find work - what is stopping you?

onetiredmummy Mon 08-Jul-13 12:09:58

No, & if you are living with a partner then their income doesn't count either.

If you want it done strictly & fairly then go via the CSA smile

peopletalk Mon 08-Jul-13 12:10:03

your husbands new partners wages are nothing to do with you even if you had young kids the csa no longer take a new partners wages into consideration.

KirstyJC Mon 08-Jul-13 12:10:59

No! And I don't get why he should support you at all? Kids yes, if you had any at the age they needed support still, but not you - you are an adult and capable of supporting yourself, or claiming benefits for yourself if not.

I can't believe he has been financially supporting you at all if your kids were not living with you - how on earth did you get him to agree to that? He must be very generous!

ratbagcatbag Mon 08-Jul-13 12:11:35

I didn't think you still got maintenance orders anyway so thought it was entirely up to you to support yourself. With regard to her, they won't (rightly) touch her money, why should they?

peopletalk Mon 08-Jul-13 12:11:41

they have grown up children

ratbagcatbag Mon 08-Jul-13 12:12:28

Onetimermummy - she's referring to main thence for herself, children are grown up.

RobotBananas Mon 08-Jul-13 12:12:44

I dont understand... Does he pay maintenance now? confused

KirstyJC Mon 08-Jul-13 12:12:50

OK, just re-read and seen that your DD is still with you. Is he supporting her - that might be ok, but I still can't see why he should pay for YOU?

onetiredmummy Mon 08-Jul-13 12:13:44

Ah thanks ratbag I got derailed by the stupidest thing the exH has ever done comment.

Apologies & all, apologies OP


SolidGoldBrass Mon 08-Jul-13 12:17:19

By the sound of it, at least one of the adult DC is not capable of independent living, therefore the OP cannot work because she needs to care for the DC. Therefore, morally at least, the man should be contributing financially in the same way as if the DC was still a child. But I don't know what the legal position is on maintenance for DC who are technically adults but need full-time care.

AnAirOfHope Mon 08-Jul-13 12:19:40

He has a baby to support, why should he support you?

I think im missing something? confused

Also you were seprated so it was not an affair but he started dating.

AnAirOfHope Mon 08-Jul-13 12:23:08

adult child should get DLA!

Does AS and Dispraxia make a person unable to function as a adult? Or unable to live indepenatly?

Vivacia Mon 08-Jul-13 12:25:54

I don't think the daughter requires full time care. She's just unemployed isn't she?
I don't understand why the ex is paying maintenance of any kind.

mumblechum1 Mon 08-Jul-13 12:26:56

I wouldn't expect him to pay anything for your DD, as she isn't disabled, and he isn't on a particularly high income.

You have been lucky to get spousal maintenance for yourself, but unless his business is doing better than it sounds from your OP, I think it very unlikely that spousal mtce will continue. You will be expected to be independent, given the circumstances.

AnAirOfHope Mon 08-Jul-13 12:27:05

sorry I forgot to answer the question: No her income has nothing to do with you.

Vivacia Mon 08-Jul-13 12:27:20

The comment about having the baby being the stupidest thing reads as very unkind.

mumblechum1 Mon 08-Jul-13 12:27:37

Sorry missed the AS bit about your daughter, but my advice still stands.

OnTheNingNangNong Mon 08-Jul-13 12:28:32

If your children are adults then you won't be entitled to much, if at all. You need to support yourself

OnTheNingNangNong Mon 08-Jul-13 12:30:07

Her income is no business of yours, as would any future partner of yours' income be of no business of your stbxh

VBisme Mon 08-Jul-13 12:33:30

No, they definitely won't take her income into account, and if you're expecting another woman to support you rather than get a job then that is just appalling behaviour.

JaquelineHyde Mon 08-Jul-13 12:35:27

NingNangNong What on earth has the op's ex done to deserve you calling him a stupid bastard xh? confused

OP your ex shouldn't have to pay you anything, you need to get yourself a job or continue to live on benefits. That is your lifestyle choice and not something your ex should have to fund. Especially as you have taken your half of the house sale and have spent it buying a share of your flat, you could have used that to live on but you didn't you invested it all and lived off your ex.

Have some self respect and stand on your own two feet.

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