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I need to leave my husband. Please help me.

(193 Posts)
anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:27:48


I am not a mum. (don't hate me for posting here)

I need to leave my husband. He makes me do things and bullies me. I have no bank account, no job, and no friends.

I can get some money if I take his cards (for shopping). How much do I need?

also to massively complicate things I have a most beloved dog, that comes with me (i hope)

I stopped wearing my wedding ring this week and i am scared that things will escalate, he said rather pointedly 'so there's nothing I can say to make you put your ring back on?'

I am so scared. please help me.

AnyoneForTennis Fri 08-Jun-12 16:29:16

There is help available. Don't worry

Women's aid can help.... Could you ring them?

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:29:18

i have only 90 mins before he gets back from work to talk.

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:30:19

will he know that I have rung them?

AnyoneForTennis Fri 08-Jun-12 16:30:35

You sound scared of him. Do you have a mobile? If so, keep it with you

Any family/friends nearby?

AnyoneForTennis Fri 08-Jun-12 16:31:50

Log out of here when done. Clear history. Don't think WA number shows on phone bill... Do the 141 thing

When do you want to leave?

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:32:27

i have no one. the only person that knows is my OU tutor.
no family, no friends. I barely leave the house.

fallingandlaughing Fri 08-Jun-12 16:32:40

You don't need anything.

If you are scared don't put yourself at risk for money or anything else. Call Women's Aid 0808 2000 247. They will help and understand.

Don't give him any reason to think you are going and remember to delete your broswing history or use inprivate browsing for these messages.

I like your username. Sounds like you are ready for a new beginning. Good Luck.

tribpot Fri 08-Jun-12 16:33:02

Here's the guide to staying safe online and here are their helpline FAQs. The number won't appear on a BT bill but might if you have your home phone with someone else.

Helpline FAQs - Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, 0808 2000 247

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:33:48

yes i will clear history. already have secret email address. he has been asking to go on my netbook recently. i was a bit worried that he put something on there.

mummytime Fri 08-Jun-12 16:34:35

Tell Women's aid about the dog, there are people who will foster it temporarily for you while you get away.

fallingandlaughing Fri 08-Jun-12 16:34:45

he might have out a keylogger or something on there, so be careful

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:34:50

should I put my ring back on? so he thinks that everything is ok?

AnyoneForTennis Fri 08-Jun-12 16:36:05

Keep hold of that ring...... You can use it later, pawn for a few quid.

fallingandlaughing Fri 08-Jun-12 16:36:06

you can judge it best re the ring. It might be a good idea? Try to talk to Women's AId if you can.

AnyoneForTennis Fri 08-Jun-12 16:37:31

What do you want to do?

Go now? Next week?
Leave the area?

Priority is safety, so call women's aid.

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:37:38

Okay. Thank you so much. I am reading everything. He left his credit card, I feel like i should take out the max, and hide it. will i get arrested?

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:38:14

i ahve to leave the area, out of London.

tribpot Fri 08-Jun-12 16:39:06

If you mean hide it so you have it for leaving later, it will show up on his card pretty quickly and be charged interest from right now, so it might even block the card and he will realise something is up. To be honest, I would take it when you are ready to leave and max it out before he realises you've gone.

MistyRocks Fri 08-Jun-12 16:40:08

womens aid

ring them

keep us posted if you can xxxxxx

AnyoneForTennis Fri 08-Jun-12 16:40:24

You will need a few important documents, the rest can be replaced. Doubt he could fo much about the money if you have a card for your use. If it's in his sole name then be wary

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:41:48

okay. wont get cash straight away. I think i need to stay at least a couple of nights to get everything sorted, even though i feel like i might die. this is my faullt.

Bossybritches22 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:42:30

If you have a passport get it into your bag,its a valuable source of ID.

anewbeginning2012 Fri 08-Jun-12 16:42:46

everything is in his sole name. debit/credit/bills/mortgage.

JumpingThroughHoops Fri 08-Jun-12 16:43:53

Have you got any family that can help you?
Any friend/s at all where you can hide out for a while?

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