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how do I help friend who's heart is breaking?

(5 Posts)
milkbar Thu 18-Aug-05 13:35:28

You are wise and I hope you can help me. My very good and old friend is having a bad time. Her relationship with her DP is in crisis - although they have not officially split up yet. I think there is still some hope for a reconciliation, she doesn't seem to think so though. They have no kids. I don't see her as often as I did before I had dd, so we're not as close as we used to be. I just don't know what to say or do to help her. I know she is in pain and is very sad but she says she doesn't want any company. (I think especially company with someone who she has called a 'smug married' in the past)
What can I do or say to help her? What shouldn't I do?

sanchpanch Fri 19-Aug-05 08:56:10

i think you just need to let her know you are there if she needs you, thats all you can do if she doesnt want your company at the moment,
I am going through a split at the moment and i dont know where i would be without my friends they have been fantstic at giving me support, but at the end of the day they cant bring my boyfriend back, but i know i could call on them at any time, if neccesary.

sanchpanch Fri 19-Aug-05 08:56:10

i think you just need to let her know you are there if she needs you, thats all you can do if she doesnt want your company at the moment,
I am going through a split at the moment and i dont know where i would be without my friends they have been fantstic at giving me support, but at the end of the day they cant bring my boyfriend back, but i know i could call on them at any time, if neccesary.

mancmum Fri 19-Aug-05 09:35:27

am doing something very similar with work friend at moment -- and there is little you can do except just listen ... and be there for her to rant or weep... need patience as the same things are often discussed and combed over... but the best thing is just to listen and refrain from making any derogatory comments about DP just in case they stay together!

Chuffed Fri 19-Aug-05 10:59:04

Send her a card, put some words about how you are there, and hate seeing her hurting etc etc.
Tell her how amazing she is boost her self esteem, be flowery (well I would) and if she needs anything you're there.

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