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Help - I need sympathy - DH is like a 'bear with a sore head' pre-holiday....

(6 Posts)
Legacy Wed 17-Aug-05 10:03:59

We're off for 2 weeks from Sat...

In order to give us some time to get everythign ready our kids are in nursery & kids club this week...
DH has his own business (runs it from home) , I work full time in an office...

I can't beleive how positively unbearable he is being this week!!
- snapping at everyone and everything
- moaning about how much he has to do.... (er, what exactly??)
- blaming me and the kids for everything that's missing/ wrong

Meanwhile I'm trying to fit in last minute shopping around work - need to buy sun cerams/ sun hats/ snacks/ travel stuff/games for the kids for the journey/ clean the fridge out/ cancel the milk/papers; brief the neighbours about the garden watering; find all the passports & travel documents; sort and check all clothes are clean & ready; pack everything... and so the list goes on...

Last night was just the final straw - DH was working til late and then when he came to bed couldn't get to sleep - tossed & turned for ages, and was snorting/ snoring & even muttering in his sleep. At one point in the night (about 4.30 am) he tossed over and elbowed me in the eye (waking me up).
I couldn't get back to sleep again...

When I said to him this morning "what was up with you last night - you were tossing and turning, and elbowed me in the face at one point..." he just bit my head off and said it was all my fault 'cos I'd been keeping HIM awake....

Then for the rest of the morning he didn't even talk to me...

This isn't fair - I'm really pissed off with him treating me lijke this when I'm more than pulling my weight - I don't care if he IS stressed - we all are....

Sorry - rant over..... just needed to share this really

colditz Wed 17-Aug-05 10:06:56

Tell him you don't want to go with him, and stick to it.

ninah Wed 17-Aug-05 10:09:38

nothing to suggest really but dp was just the same before we went away, has similar sleep patterns including waking me up to tell me he is going next door to get some sleep and it makes me too
He's self employed so as well as getting stressed about finishing everthing for clients before going away he worries about losing a week's income plus paying for it all
I get blamed for packing far too much and for forgetting things
almost puts me off going! but sounds like you need some time away, and you Will relax on hol ...

moondog Wed 17-Aug-05 10:36:02

Lagacy,preparing to leave your every day life for a holiday (esp. when you've got kids) is super stresful.
Sometimes wonder why we bother lol!

My dh a little like this too.He is self employed and works abroad,and between him coming home and me and the children going to see him,it is very stressful.
On top of all this,he is doing an MSc and we are trying to sell a house.
My life is like yours except it all happens about 6 times a year.

We joke that the only respite we get is on the plane/in the airport.

Bite your tongue-if you react it will only make things worse. Bring it up when you are on holiday-having a drink in a pleasant bar as the sun sets.
(You will also look really noble for not having reacted the same way.)

Have a lovely holiday-where are you off too?

throckenholt Wed 17-Aug-05 11:08:59

have you got a spare room ? at least if you are in different rooms you can't accuse each other of keeping them awake.

Legacy Wed 17-Aug-05 11:14:33

Spare room - alas no, at the moment, since my Dad, who is coming on holiday with us is sleeping in it!

To be honest, I know exactly why DH is like this - I feel stressed too, I only wish he's learn to handle it better AND at least apologise if he recognises he's being a bit tetchy.

It's hars isn't it - I never realised until I had kids why my own Mum was aleays so grumpy when we went on holiday... never appreciated how much extra work she had to do....

It would just feel so much better if someone said, "thank you so much for organising this, and making it possible for us to have such a wonderful holiday...."

Oh - was that a flying pig passing my window????

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