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Am I a bitch

(129 Posts)
TwinSetAndPearls Sat 06-Aug-05 22:53:52

I hate my dp dog. He shits in my garden, has wrecked my lawn, chews dd toys, always pulling over the kitchen bin and spreading contents over the floor, he smells, he slobbers, the house is full of dog hair, he has ruined my carpets, he makes my house smell, we can't go on holiday for more than a week because dp won't leave him, when I am on my period he practically rapes me.

On top of that I am allergic to him, not a little bit , but a serious allergy that robs me of all my energy. He makes me feel like I have flu permanently, so tired, run down, constantly sniffing eyes streaming.

Oh and another thing, dp keeps letting him sleep in our room so our bedding gets covered in dog hair.

I keep telling dp I don't like him, dp keeps saying that he will find him a new home but he never does. Tonight had a row about him which has resulted in dp walking out with the dog saying I am an intolerant bitch and he will have to find a way of getting rid of him just to shut me up.

I now feel awful as dp and dd both love the dog, I spoke to dd about finding a new home for the dog and she was heartbroken. I also wanted to find the dog a proper home with people who loved him not have dp wandering the streets with him. He could be a lovely dog in the right home, he is a Springer with a lovely temperament and fantastic with kids but just not in a home with someone who doesn't like dogs, hates hoovering up dog hair and is allergic to them.

So am I a bitch? Should I let the dog stay?

MrsGordonRamsay Sat 06-Aug-05 22:55:24

If I post I will be very blunt.

moondog Sat 06-Aug-05 22:56:08

ROFL at attempted rape!
Seriosly,isn't there a common ground? Dog sleepimg in same room as you is vile. If it has a good walk each day,there is no reason for it to ever be in the house! (My dear departed dog wasn't.)

Nbg Sat 06-Aug-05 22:57:12

There are ways and means of kerbing his behaviour and the smells and hair but the Allergy is a tuff one.

I'm allergic to cats and I really really struggle to visit my parents because of their cat so I know how you feel.

I think if you weren't feeling as run down you wouldn't be bothered about the rest.

jampots Sat 06-Aug-05 22:57:28

ROFL at dogrape. sorry

I would insist he takes the dog to training classes and make sure the dog stays outside. I personally couldnt stand it

expatinscotland Sat 06-Aug-05 22:58:43

I'd find a new, dog-free man.

Sorry, but I don't like dogs. I especially don't like indoor, big dogs.

DH and DD are dog folks - well, they love cats as well. Luckily, however, our landlord will not allow them, and as we're here to stay, it's a moot point.

Aimsmum Sat 06-Aug-05 22:59:06

Message withdrawn

TwinSetAndPearls Sat 06-Aug-05 22:59:53

MGR you couldn't possibly be any blunter than dp has been!

Hattie05 Sat 06-Aug-05 23:02:12

Its give and take isn't it, and as you have the dog already, its obviously a decision you were happy about at one point.

I have a severe allergy to cats, sound similar to you.

DP loves animals and wanted a cat, i agreed to get one. Dp respects my not wanting it to be on the beds. I bought a lotion called petal cleanse that you massage on the animal (cats or dogs) once a week to get rid of the allergens they carry in their fur - which causes the symptoms we suffer.
This really worked, i used this for a good year of first having the cat, my symptoms have got far less now - don't know whether it had a longterm effect.
We have leather sofas, which help because the cat fur doesn't cling to it. I hoover most days anyway and just generally avoid coming into contact with the cat and keep up with my housework i don't have any problems.

I think its important that both of you consider each others feelings and wants and come to an agreement. It would be very hard for your dp and dd to have to say goodbye to a dog they love and know.

MrsGordonRamsay Sat 06-Aug-05 23:02:19

Ok
I don't know you that well.

But what I do know is that you have an arse for an ex.

You have a Dp who loves you and your DD.

A man who sat down with you and rejigged finances to make your budget work with ex dick heads money.

You need to give a little.

expatinscotland Sat 06-Aug-05 23:02:37

I don't think you're a bitch for wanting to feel better. I mean, you can't help it you're allergic, and it REALLY doesn't help your allergies that you've got a dog in your bed.

charliecat Sat 06-Aug-05 23:03:11

Did you move in with the dog or did the dog move in with you?

Hattie05 Sat 06-Aug-05 23:04:19

BTW i can go into other peoples houses who have cats or dogs and my symptoms start up straight away.

So its either petal cleanse having long lasting effects on my cat, or i'm ott at houswork compared to everyone else i know who has a pet

moondog Sat 06-Aug-05 23:04:33

Crikey Hattie,don't know what could be worse-being made allergic by a cat or having to massage the damn thing! Thank God my dog has died. I will never have another!

MrsGordonRamsay Sat 06-Aug-05 23:05:39

Dog in bedroom yakky do.


BTW is it your house or a joint house ??

Spray the bins with anti bac or furniture polish, to mask the smells.

DP should go on poo patrol at least once a day.

They toys...........that is inevitable DS4 now just comes in and says ...........she has been chewing again.

expatinscotland Sat 06-Aug-05 23:07:00

Yuk. This thread just reminded me of why I don't like dogs.

MissBegotten Sat 06-Aug-05 23:07:24

Instead of the dog has to go, maybe the dog has to stay out of the bedrooms and the lounge? - or maybe get a kennel and the dog can stay outside?

I agree with mrsGR, compromise is the key here. Most of what you describe as being the things that drive you mad can be sorted and stopped from happening again - as to the allergy, tougher, but more limited contact with the dog (or at least more in the open air!), lots of vacuming to avoid dog hair build up, agree with your dp that he will brush dog daily outside to minimise stray hairs, all sorts of things!

MrsGordonRamsay Sat 06-Aug-05 23:08:45

Sorry,


I have probably been too blunt as usual.

Hattie05 Sat 06-Aug-05 23:09:25

LOL moondog. I didn't mind, it fitted in nicely with my anal obsession of cleanliness. I felt the cat was 'cleaner' so i was content

Dp would have done it if i wanted him to.

TwinSetAndPearls Sat 06-Aug-05 23:10:52

I have tried common ground, I have said I don't want him upstairs but I have lost count of the number of times dp has let him in. I have put gates at the top and bottom of the stairs as well as the kitchen to try and control where he is in the house, but I am the only one who closes them.

I have asked dp repeatedly about picking up dog poo from our garden but I am always finding it. Dp doesn't walk him enough in my opinion, Springers practically need a large hamster wheel in the garden they have so much energy.

I can't walk him as he ignores me and either drags me around with dd trying to keep up or he runs off! I have lost count of the times I have had a call from one of the shops in the village asking me to collect my dog, or we have had to pay £40 to get him out of the doggie pound because he has scarpered while I am trying to exercise him.

His classic moment was running of once while I was trying to put the rubbish out at 7 in the morning. Involved me chasing him onto a main road dressed in a Janet Reger negligee. Only to be stopped by a dog walker who said " I really think you should walk him on his lead on a busy road like this." To which I replied " Do I look to you as if I am walking the dog dressed like this!!!"

It used to be funny, and I have tried so hard. I wanted to go to dog training lessons but as he has already been with dp , dp decided it would confuse him. (AS an aside the dog behaves perfectly for dp - it is just me. According to dp Springers are renowned for not obeying women!!!!!)

I can't let dd play in the garden as the dog is in the back garden most of the day and I worry about him pooing and her touching or standing in it. So despite having a nice sized garden with a playhouse, climbing frame and lots of other toys dd has to play in the front garden.
I could probably cope with everything else but the poo in the garden and my allergy.

expatinscotland Sat 06-Aug-05 23:12:43

It sounds like dp has more loyalty to the dog than to you, unfortunately. I dunno, this sounds pretty serious.

TwinSetAndPearls Sat 06-Aug-05 23:13:37

Dp had th dog before we were together, he knew I was allergic to it but becuase I didn't live with the dog we didn't realise how bad it would be. I thought if I keep on top of the cleaning and had scented candles, air freshner, windows open I wouldn't be ill and the smell wouldn't be too bad.

But i was wrong.

I feel awful about moaning as I bought a child into the relationship who is far more work than a dog. But at least no one is allergic to her!

TwinSetAndPearls Sat 06-Aug-05 23:13:52

The house is ours, we bought it together.

TwinSetAndPearls Sat 06-Aug-05 23:16:01

You are right MGR my dp has done so much for me that I know I have to give a little and I have tried but I just don't think I can do it.

expatinscotland Sat 06-Aug-05 23:16:29

And he doesn't seem to want to compromise even though it really is making you sick.

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