I need to get out of here. I've known that for over a year (but never been so sure as I am now) but things just keep cropping up to stop me.
My dh is horrible. He's a nasty piece of work and has made my (and our children's) life a misery in the past four years. He's been "good" since October last year, which means he hasn't hit me since then but the threats are still there, and the nastiness. I am so embarrassed about the way he speaks to me when we're in public... we've been to marriage counselling which has only made me realise how awful he is and I can't sleep at night because it disgusts me that I have to lie next to him.
The main reason I've not left (seriously left, I've spent the odd few days here and there for a breather) is because of money. He controls all our money, I have to ask him if I want £1 for the bus-fare!! And because he gets me into trouble when I try - last year I reported him to the police for assaulting me, and tried to get me and my children out of there. He responded by telling the police I had hit my eldest child (I swear this is not true), they believed him at first and arrested me, though my ds (age 4) told them it wasn't true and my kids went into care... then he registered my bank details with ebay and conned loads of people (I've managed to pay everyone back now but still been arrested and charged for it!!).
I honestly thought up until now that SS believed what he said and if I left him, the kids would end up with him, which I couldn't let happen (I know that sounds completely stupid but that's what I'm worried about) but just read their core assessment and it says I display no signs of abusive/challenging behaviour at all (though he does). They are only concerned bout the domestic violence, and that I am "powerless in my relationship".
I know I need to get out ASAP and have been trying to sort out money (just got a £500 limit cc and applied for a student bank with £1250 limit (hopefully)) but know I need to act quickly as when I have money he always realises he desperately needs something expensive, and he knows about these because he opens all my post.
But where do I go? I should be able to get a house sorted, but how would I get stuff there? I know it's not important, it's just material stuff but the kids beds and clothes and toys, and basics like pans or anything, cost a fortune. I can't drive.
I couldn't risk him finding me so wouldn't be able to tell any of my friends and probably not even my family at first...
Sorry if this is too long!!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I know what I have to do. But how?
troubledmum · 05/08/2005 14:51
This reply has been withdrawn
This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.