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Confused - stay or go

(4 Posts)
autumngirl Thu 04-Aug-05 23:44:46

Short story (so as not to bore you all). Dh had affair nearly 3 years ago. Tried very very hard to put marriage back on track but feel have done everything with not a lot in return. Separated early this year. Since met another person who is absolutely smitten with me and who wants us to move in together with kids (2). Dh knows nothing about said smitten person and still talks about wanting to make things work but still does nothing about it. Even on eve of me leaving the house, he never said to me "don't go" - how much does he want me then? How much should you stay for the kids and how much should you take your own life into consideration? He is a fantastic dad with kids. Am I just to cowardly to make the move and make a new life for myself. Feel so guilty about taking kids away from their dad. They adore him. So confused..... any advice welcome

MissBegotten Thu 04-Aug-05 23:51:14

you havent said how you feel about either this new bloke or your dh

autumngirl Fri 05-Aug-05 00:04:55

dh broke my heart but there's a lot I love about him. Just not sure if there's too much water under the bridge. New bloke is funny and makes me feel alive again but there are so many complications with having exes and children.

MissBegotten Fri 05-Aug-05 00:14:56

my opinion for the little its worth is that maybe you would be better served by being alone for a while. many of the worst relationships are rebound relationships! maybe you need to take some time out and sort out your feelings, rather than a) rushing into a relationship that, forgive me, you sound less than enthusiastic about - him being smitten with you does not mean you will be happy! or b) trying to make it work with someone who from your posts has just paid lip service to a reconciliation.

its probably very scary to contemplate, but you sound very confused and i do think time out of any form of relationship will allow you to clear your head.

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