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Interfering parents inlaws don't know we want to emmigrate.....any advice?

(8 Posts)
WichypooNo2 Wed 03-Aug-05 23:00:10

my dh parents still haven't managed to cut the apron strings. we needed them to help with ds1 due to childcare problems but their interfering nearly ended our marriage. They are very sneakily insulting towards me, never infornt of dh. But we've decided we want to emmigrate for various reasons. my dh hasn;t told them yet and i can foresee a big row when he does with me being the big bad. Any advice on how to broach the subject before 3 yr old ds drops us in it?

shhhh Thu 04-Aug-05 11:29:33

You need to support each other when the time comes. Tell them that you have decided to move to allow you to get a better standard of living for you both & ds (EVEN IF THIS MAY NOT BE THE CASE..BUT SURE IT WILL BE..??). If they know you have their gs interests at hear surely they will see sense. It may cause arguments but i'm sure they will come round. If not.....what have you lost..?? As long as you have dh & your ds thats all that matters, you have your own family to think about now. HTH.

throckenholt Thu 04-Aug-05 11:35:01

maybe you and your dh can write them a letter together. Start off by saying you know they will be upset, and that you want to explain your reasons in a calm way - hence the letter, and give them time to absorb it a bit before you meet face to face to talk about it. Maybe say you would like them to think about it and talk it over between themselves for a couple of days before they phone or meet you about it.

That way, it remains adult, and it is obvious that you have made your decision and are not going to change your mind. Also it shows you have thought about all your options and made and adult choice for your family.

Hope it says amicable.

eefs Fri 05-Aug-05 10:48:26

While you are doing the bst for you as a family, you have to be prepared for them to be very upset. I'm not sure how far away you will be moving but it may limit their visits to once a year or less. I think the sooner you tell them the better prepared they will be. Try to ensure that it's presented to them as a joint decision and ask your dh to defend you if they start laying blame anywhere. Better they hear it fomr you two rather than ds.
best of luck

WichypooNo2 Fri 05-Aug-05 20:07:19

thanks guys, I think dh will go for letter idea as its less confrontational and my fil is REALLY confrontational and shouts people down. I'm very srongwilled and not usually worried about fighting my corner but he really upsets me so I'm not looking forward to it as it will all be my fault.

thanks for the support x

MissBegotten Fri 05-Aug-05 20:40:30

why dont you send them a postcard from your new home?

i would, but then im a big coward!

WichypooNo2 Fri 05-Aug-05 22:55:10

Naughty but very tempting!!

shhhh Fri 05-Aug-05 23:41:30

What, a "wish you were" here postcard !!!!!

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