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I'm in a difficult situation but hands are tied - what do you think?

(22 Posts)
Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 20:08:24

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MrsGordonRamsay Sat 30-Jul-05 20:10:54

at your mother

Is their no one else you could enlist ??

kid Sat 30-Jul-05 20:12:14

Is there any parents at the school that you would feel comfortable in asking to look after your children?
Will your mum have to take the day off as unpaid leave? Maybe you could offer to pay her if that is her worry.

gigglinggoblin Sat 30-Jul-05 20:12:19

no help on where to leave kids, but what about taking them to the wake afterwards? i wouldnt take kids to a funeral because i wouldnt want them to see all the grownups so upset, but mine came to the do after my grandads funeral and livened it up no end. everyone agreed it was nice that the atmosphere was a bit happier, especially as the kids were so important to him. at least then you wouldnt miss the whole thing

spursmum Sat 30-Jul-05 20:12:56

Ask a friend. I'm sure you must have someone who will be willing to look after the kids for a while. You may have to give the wake a miss but at least dh will appreciate the support. IMO your mother is being very stubborn, could you offer to reimburse her for her time off? She sounds like my mother who's response to me asking her to babysit is" you had him, you look after him". Feel free to talk some more if you need to.

Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 20:19:26

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gigglinggoblin Sat 30-Jul-05 20:21:47

have other family members got childcare you could share? it would mean taking them to cardiff but they would probably appreciate being close to you on such a difficult day

Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 20:22:13

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Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 20:26:46

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kid Sat 30-Jul-05 20:29:41

When I went to my Grandads funeral, one member of the family offered to stay at the house with all the children. Not sure if that would be possible for you. Are they any other children in Dh's family?

Pinotmum Sat 30-Jul-05 20:32:27

Could you take them to the church service but not the cemetary for the actual burial? Some churches have side chapels where children can be taken if they are noisy and this may be an option if everything gets a little weepy. They could then go to get together afterwards. At my dh's father funeral there were load of children at the get together but I didn't take mine to the service or cemetary because they were only 6 months and 2 yo.

soapbox Sat 30-Jul-05 20:33:19

If any of your DH's family live in Cardiff and have youngish children, could they recommend a babysitter for you??

Or do any of DH's family have college student friends who you could trust to look after your children for a couple of hours??

coppertop Sat 30-Jul-05 21:02:37

When it was my dh's grandmother's funeral I knew I wouldn't be able to go so I offered to look after any other children who might need childcare. Is it possible that a member of your dh's family in Cardiff might be doing the same?

Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 21:56:17

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Jimjams Sat 30-Jul-05 22:08:43

Will the ABA be happpening all day- if not can you extend your therapists hours so they deal with that (even if they're just child caring for some of it rather than doing ABA- ds1's would have been great) then perhaps hire a day nany from an agency for NT child- or employ 2 therapists (do you have 2?) for the day to share therapy and NT childcare

Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 22:20:36

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Jimjams Sat 30-Jul-05 22:27:09

Ah I see - what a pain. How many hours ABA do you have booked that day? If enough could you then hire a day nanny from an agency to cover NT?

If you don't have a familiar adult for SN I think you're stuffed really (DH's grandfather is very ill at the moment - he's a (short) plane ride away, but we've discussed it and I think it will be impossible for me to go, so I sympathise). Will dh's family be understanding?

Jimjams Sat 30-Jul-05 22:32:44

@ your mother btw.

You're not near me are you? I'd help out for the day (I could leave ds2 and ds3 with my direct payments wonderful person and bring ds1 with me).

Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 22:40:45

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Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 22:43:22

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Jimjams Sat 30-Jul-05 22:44:17

How bizarre. Much sympathy though. I guess short of begging your mum there isn't much you can do-

Socci Sat 30-Jul-05 22:50:09

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