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Hubby totaly uninterested in anything apart from self!

(5 Posts)
notyetused Fri 29-Jul-05 13:27:14

Need someone to talk to about this.
DH had a serious health problem, now cured. He is a changed man. Has no interest in the kids 'boring', says he loves me and wants to stay but doesnt spend any time with me. He says tv is a waste of time, but why go out, as we have nothing to say anyway (unfortunately this is sometimes true - why is that?). All he wants to do is his new busincess. It has given him an interest, which is v good, but he is being totally selfish, not wanting to do anything else.

He used to be SAHD but now hates it. DD said this am could someone read her a book. Unfortunately I couldn't as off to work (p-t), I said maybe Daddy could, but he said 'no, I'll be too busy today' Couldn't spare 5 mins out of his whole day, terrible and whats even worse, cant seem to see what's wrong with this. I do cooking, shopping and childcare. He will now do 'the minimum' when I'm at work which is feeding them and turning tv on for them. When I get back from work, I'll get dinner and get them to bed. He says he has been so ill and deserves some selfish time. He is neverwrong and doesnt seem to do compromises.

AM seriously thinking I should leave and take kids. He doesn't seem to have any interest anyway. We are supposed to be buying a new house. Should I stop this before its too late. I still like & fancy him and like his company when I get it, but am wondering if I am just staying with him cos I'm scared of being alone. What am Igetting out ofthis relationship? I am a young=looking 40, should I get out while I still can. If didnt have kids would definately go away for a while. I am really unhappy at the mo, have told him this, but he just doesnt get it at all as he is so happy with his new interest in life. Having trouble not crying all the time. Any advice? Sorry, long and rambling

compo Fri 29-Jul-05 13:29:32

aybe if you suggested marital counselling to him that might shock him into changing his attitude?

mancmum Fri 29-Jul-05 13:33:27

leave him... sorry to be harsh but he needs a wake up call that is not going to be understood by just talking... i would never suggest leaving noramlly when kids are involved but he is not really being a dad is he? It hink his attitude towards your DD was awful and will hurt her in the long term.

I am sure he has had a tough time but serious illness does not just effect the sufferer -- you have had it tough too... he can not afford to be selfish when he has a family....

notyetused Fri 29-Jul-05 15:02:13

Thanks folks, its good to talk. My post and your replies have shocked me into realising how serious this has become. Yuk, I hate conflict and being alone.

Only place I could go is his parents - hmm not ideal, though they will probably be quite smpathetic.

Too big a step I think. They have offered me to go there for a break this weekend. Might do, he probably wouldnt notice we'd gone. In fact, he might quite like it!

Oh well, will see what happens tonight. Big talk I think. Unfortunately DDs 4th birthday next weekend & supposed to be doing a party. maybe should not have one in circs? Atmosphere could be bad & I'll probably have to do everthing for it anyway. DD won't know.

Scatterbrain Fri 29-Jul-05 15:09:08

Could he be depressed ?

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