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Does your dp have opposing political views?

(14 Posts)
TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 13:51:16

Dp and I attempted to discuss politics last night - what a mistake to make

I found it so hard to believe that someone as loving, caring, compassionate and generous as him could have such right wing views.

The "discussion" ended with him calling me an unpatriotic marxist dreamer while I yelled back at hime thay he was a smallminded right wing bigot and the thought of him touching me made my flesh creep so I slept on the sofa.

I attempted to aplogise this morning as I did over react and I do get overheated in discussions when I know I am right

Does anyone else have a partner whose views are so different? Am I placing too much emphasis on his political views when in all other ways we are a loving couple with a dd that we adore with a lot going for us?

Flossam Tue 26-Jul-05 13:54:26

DP does seem to think he is really right wing, conservative type. Then he did some kind of political test thing on here which placed him on a parr with good old Tone, so not all that right wing then! We do vote differently. Only really becomes an issue when we are about to vote. I just switch off from silly things he comes out with the rest of the time. Is this the first time you have discussed this?

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 14:02:23

No we have discussed it before,each time it ends in a row.

I actually think he isn't quite as right wing as he likes to think he is as when I raise a specific example , (would you deport this person...) we tend to agree and his compassion that i love about him comes through.

He is a bit of a little englander, whenever we go abroad he has to keep saying how much better us Brits do this and that. His funniest quote ever was driving to eurodisney
"From what I have seen from the motorway I don' think much of French countryside!!!! " we do laugh about that now, but at the time he meant it and made a similar comment in Holland. I do try and let his comments wash over me but it hurts when he ridicules me for my beliefs writing me off as some kind of champagne socialist with sinister plans for national security.

expatinscotland Tue 26-Jul-05 14:04:42

No. I once dated a man whose views were diametrically opposed to mine. I thought I could handle it, but I was forgetting that one's values underpin one's policital views. He was too much of a chauvinist pig and a poser for me, so we split.

WigWamBam Tue 26-Jul-05 14:05:03

If you love everything else about him (well, maybe not quite everything, but you know what I mean) then maybe it would be best just to avoid discussing politics.

I don't even know how my dh votes; I know his opinions on most things so I could probably guess, but I have no interest in politics causing friction between us.

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 14:08:43

You are right of course WWB and for that reason I avoid talkiing politics with him, although that is sometimes hard as I am quite politically active and current events mean that politics comes into natural conversation more.

What is disturbing me more is that when I hear him talk like that I just don't like him, infact I find him abhorrent and don't like myself much either for loving a man who has such views.

Maybe we shoud get the telly out of the loft so we have less time to talk!

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 14:12:56

That's the word I was looking for expat, values. I thought we had such similar values as we both hate injustice, we have both come from difficult backgrounds and had to work hard to come out the other end and we agree 100% over my dd.

He isn't chauvinistic at all, he does so much to help around the house and is fantastic with dd ( who isnt his) but last night he talkd with such venom it has shocked me.

If I was being honest if I didn't have dd I would have prbably walked out last night after our row only returning to collect my stuff.

Aragon Tue 26-Jul-05 14:15:13

My hubby says he's left wing but belongs to the Liberal Democrats (actually joined up ) and expresses what I feel are very right wing views.
Thinks all parents who have 9 or 10 kids with 8 different fathers and are all on the dole "should be sterilised - including the kids and the Dads who have spread their seed about with no regard to the consequences" . Says "they will never contribute anything". I get so angry with his views we can't even discuss it.

His background

Staunchly Conservative parents - e sounds just like his Dad. I usually end up by telling him to have an evening or two at the local Conservatice club and get it out of his system whereupon he says "I am not a Tory" and goes into a silent huff!

Tortington Tue 26-Jul-05 14:19:30

my husbands view of politics is this
" if you want better hospitals, schools, services, public transport, healthcare, more doctors nurses school teachers.............etc then you should pay more tax but ohhhhhhhhhhh nooooo when the lib dems < yep hes a yellow belly> mention tax increases no one votes for them.

so nedless to say its a bit useless havning a conversation with him becuase you mention the state of anythingand he answers - put up tax then! so its over with in 1 minute - story of my life tho

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 14:22:42

Maybe I should live with your husband custardo! I have distinct yellow belly tendencies but am in the local labour party trying to bring them back to their roots one by one.

expatinscotland Tue 26-Jul-05 14:24:19

This bloke's values were directly in line w/his political views, pearls. I got sick to the back teeth of listening to them as well. He was always grousing about how much money rail employees and bus drivers were making. I finally shouted at him, 'Why don't you just admit you're jealous of them? What the f* do you care what they make? It's not like it comes out of your bloody pocket! If you can't lick 'em, join 'em. Otherwise, shut the f* up.'

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 14:26:38

He sounds like my ex husband, I can remember once going to a wedding with him once. It was mortifying he spent the whole time working out if any of the guests had more money or a better suit than him.

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 26-Jul-05 14:28:29

the scary thing is that my exh politial views are very close to my dp which is very scary, basically keep out all immigrants, check anyone who isn't white incase they have a bomb on their back and make all people of non english heritage take a loyalty test. How has my lovely partner turned into Norman Tebbit!?

expatinscotland Tue 26-Jul-05 14:37:03

Oh this guy was a regular Victor Mildrew. He even agreed w/Kilroy-Silk - I only found that out LONG after I'd burned rubber on his sorry arse!

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