Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Another, what would you do thread but not about dh/dp.

(10 Posts)
Nbg Sun 24-Jul-05 18:21:22

Ok this is a long one but I really could do with some honest opinions.

This time last year my BIL split up with his fiancee. They had been together for 5 years and had just moved out from a rented house that was next door to me and dh and bought their own place. BIL had met someone else who he worked with so he cut all ties, moved out, cancelled wedding etc. It was decided that me and dh would buy the house from them which we did and we moved in 2 months later.
The X was very upset understandably and some of it was because she thought she would lose contact with me and dh. If I'm honest I never really thought of her as being close. She could be quite Jekyll and Hyde at times so you never knew which way to take her and if she was ever round her family her personality would change completly.
At the time of the split I told her not to worry that we would remain in touch and not block her out IYKWIM.
In the meantime BIL has bought another house with his new girlfriend, who is might I add fantastic.
She was always calling up asking me to go out with her which I did a couple of times or she was ringing to see if she could come over. I remember on dd's birthday she even wrote Godmum under her name on dd's card!
2 months ago she told me she was having a party on the 23rd of July. I though it was a strange date to pick and told her this. She then reminded me that this was when her and BIL were getting married and the party was a celebration???!!! Again the phone calls kept coming, asking me if I would go. The last time I spoke to her, I said I would have to see if dh was working but she never rang back and I haven't heard from her for a while now.

Now, obviously the 23rd was yesterday and I feel a bit guilty but I didn't really want to go for the following reasons;

1) Like I said before I never really "clicked" with her.
2)It can't be very pleasant for BIL's new girlfriend knowing that I still see his x. New girlfriend and I get on very well btw.
3)No one else in the family bother with her so it's like it's all left down to me IYKWIM.

So what would you do? Would you just leave it and not contact again or would you stay in touch?

Nbg Sun 24-Jul-05 18:40:42

Is it that boring

SoupDragon Sun 24-Jul-05 18:42:52

I'd leave it I think.

moondog Sun 24-Jul-05 18:43:49

It's a bit complex! Think we're all trying to work it out...
Ex is celebrating the day she would have got married????
Probably best for all concerned if you gradually loosen ties.

franke Sun 24-Jul-05 18:46:06

Sounds very much like you don't really want contact, in which case I'd say leave it. If you did keep in contact it would probably be a rather uncomfortable 'friendship' you'd have with her.

Nbg Sun 24-Jul-05 18:48:49

Thats right Moondog.

Oh I'm glad you've all said that. I thought I was being a bit of a cow not keeping in touch but it is difficult. If I was in the new girlfriends position I wouldn't like it.

WideWebWitch Sun 24-Jul-05 18:57:19

Who cares what new gf thinks, it doesn't sound like you like this woman that much, she's not with your BIL anymore, no need for friendship/contact unless you really like her. Drop her gradually I'd say.

MrsGordonRamsay Sun 24-Jul-05 19:00:01

Run Forrest run

MrsVictoriaBeckham Sun 24-Jul-05 19:43:35

I would loose contact with her too. If she calls say you're busy with children and hopefully she would get the message. I do feel sorry for her with BIL cheating on her with this other woman, but she also sounds strange indeed having a party on the day she was supposed to be getting married.

hunkermunker Sun 24-Jul-05 19:46:32

I'd leave it too.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: