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I'm drowning in testosterone.

(9 Posts)
spidermama Thu 21-Jul-05 14:21:10

I'm trying to be tolerant but am seething at the moment.

I live with my husband, three sons and a daughter (all under 7) and now we have two visitors. My BIL and his 20 year old son.

Here are just some of my gripes and tell me honestly if you think I need to lighten up and be more tolerant.

My entire house smells of boy perfume that my nephew uses liberally. I hate perfumes and avoid them in life.

He and his dad go to bed late (after midnight) and stay in bed late in the morning, in my study (where the computer is) coming. They make their own breakfast, slowly and messily and are IN MY WAYYYY! Ahem. Sorry.

As a SAHM this is my work space and they seem to loaf about in here sooooooo slowly it's making me furious. People wouldn't dream of hanging around all day in someone's office would they? Yet this is my workplace and I need all of it

To be fair, they're doing nothing wrong really. They want to visit the kids, my nephew just happens to like his smelly stuff (a lot) ... They're even contributing by buying the odd bag of shopping.

It's just that they seem to hang around and are in my way all the time. This house is already a bit small for us all.

DH is supporting me as much as he feels able (getting them to keep their stuff tidy, washing up after them etc) but they're his family so he loves having them here.

I don't know how long they'll be staying and I want to be nice to them. Any tips on how to tolerate this more? They're nice enough boys really.

compo Thu 21-Jul-05 14:23:56

My top tip on how to tolerate this more would be for next time - get dh to tell you how long they are staying for, then you'll be able to cope better

Heathcliffscathy Thu 21-Jul-05 14:23:57

are they in your way spidermama? ;)

is v v frustrating having guests for more than a couple of days when your house is full of you lot as it is....

i think you need to say, that it would be helpful if you could have the space you need to do your job. perhaps they could go out a bit more? perhaps it would be ok if they got up in the morning and did something.

i would say something if you're not sure how long they are staying as if you don't put boundaries in place now, you will end up hating them and saying stuff you don't mean in a way you don't mean it iyswim.

good luck

moondog Thu 21-Jul-05 14:25:54

Lol spidermama!
Feeling similarly invaded by dh and 14 year old nephew over from France. Latter must go through an aerosol can of God knows what a day,and after 6 weeks alone with just the babies,the sight and sound of dh (lovely as he is) farting,burbing and p*ing like a horse in the 'en suite' every morning is enough to send me shrieking to a nunnery.

spidermama Thu 21-Jul-05 14:28:26

I'll try to say things and set boundaries before I get too furious to make sense. I know I'll fee guilty, though, as soon as I say something because they really are nice boys.

It's just that we live in a holiday resort, and they consider themselves on holiday, but I'm not. In fact my workload is increased by them.

They're both freelance and I know they haven't even decided how long they fancy staying.

You're right though, I need to know.

moondog Thu 21-Jul-05 14:30:31

'they haven't decided how long they fancy staying'????!!!
At the very least they should be out entertaining themselves in the day,leaving you to 'get on'. Returning at about 5:30,laden with bottles of wine,gourmet titbits and flowers,then entertaining your brood while you and dh make supper would also be ideal.

spidermama Thu 21-Jul-05 14:32:39

pmsl moondog.

I'm not a man basher, but I'm feeling outnumbered.

Boys and men lack the sensitivity of the us gals. They don't see what needs doing. They don't even notice when you want them out of the way.

They're busy chatting in my kitchen, making endless cups of tea and walking around, BACKWARDS, holding hot tea and talking to each other while I tidy up.

moondog Thu 21-Jul-05 14:34:45

No,neither am I sm but i know what you mean. Tell them firmly and plainly what you need them to do (at least they won't get all huffy and 'offended' like women!)
Let's see......
dog walking
bin emptying
bathing kids
collecting from school
peeling potatoes

Delete as appropriate.

spidermama Thu 21-Jul-05 14:47:44

Ha! That's the silver lining. They're insensitive, but also difficult to offend. Thanks Moondog for your words of wisdom.

I feel better already. Never under-estimate the power of ranting.

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