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Dh and I bickering rather destructively. Think it's gender differences...

(61 Posts)
handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 12:58:18

Are there any good books which will help me understand men a little better, and how they tick?

I am sure that most of dh's and my frequent and sometimes acrimonious battles are rooted in gender differences, and me not always getting where he is coming from and vice versa - hence misunderstandings....

Perhaps If I had more insight into 'blokeish' thinking I could be more tolerant and forgiving, and not get quite so worked up.

Any recommended reading?

Raspberry Mon 18-Jul-05 13:03:06

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or the other way round ) I have read it and it's quite good for the basics.

spidermama Mon 18-Jul-05 13:04:06

Yes rasp I agree. It's very popular, very readable and I found it very helpful.

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:10:12

Yes - was wondering about that one and whether it was any good.

sandyballs Mon 18-Jul-05 13:11:23

I watched an interesting prog on TV last night about this - the women generally being more emotional about things and the men taking a practical, rather than emotional response. Very intersting. Might be repeated.

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:18:40

I hope so. I wish that I had seen it!

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:49:43

bumping, in case there is any other recommended reading which might help....

ninah Mon 18-Jul-05 13:52:20

Sorry no advice
Wish the men would read the dmn books and let us get on with it

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:54:40

'dmn' books. I'm probably being a bit thick, but what's that?

Iklboo Mon 18-Jul-05 13:55:00

Agree with ninah - why can't HE read the books so he's got more feminine thinking and be less (perhaps) selfish and unthinking. It's ain't all your fault HMC. Relationships are supposed to be two way things.

ninah Mon 18-Jul-05 13:55:46

sorry damned I don't think we're sposed to swear in full any more

Iklboo Mon 18-Jul-05 13:55:47

She might mean 'damn' books?

WideWebWitch Mon 18-Jul-05 13:55:48

damn with a typo I assume hmc! Sorry, no advice, are you sure it's gender differences, not just him being a tosser and you being right?

compo Mon 18-Jul-05 13:56:56

what about that women can't read maps book

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:57:06

Yes - well that's men for you! Can't see him sitting down to read a self help type book....and yes, it is galling that most men wouldn't. Another one of those gender differences....

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:58:02

thanks www - 'damn', that makes sense. I was being thick

Thought it might be an anacronym (sp?) that I hadn't heard of!

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 13:59:56

and yes, it could be him being a tosser

..but I don't think he sees it that way, so I am open to the fact that it might be because he sees things differently as a man....

Enid Mon 18-Jul-05 14:02:19

can I join you hmc

my dh's attitude to going out is beginning to make us row like a pair of old fishwives.

Why why why will he NOT be ready to leave in time? I hate being late, he just pootles around doing (IMO) unnecessary bits of DIY until I am a seething mass of spitting rage, trying to keep the kids clean and tidy.Why?

We had so many rows about it this w/e. And we never row normally

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 14:05:05

I have just precisely that. We are ready to leave the house, and he says "Put the kids in the car, I'll be there in a sec", and then he proceeds to tidy away a pile of papers in his study or something for 10 minutes...whilst the kids and I bake in a hot car on the drive just waiting for him.

That's just one of this transgressions!

ninah Mon 18-Jul-05 14:06:45

we are the opposite
Suddenly we are 'ready' and he is tooting the horn while I try to pack and load the car for 3

WideWebWitch Mon 18-Jul-05 14:07:12

Ah, see then hmc, I was right, not gender!

Enid Mon 18-Jul-05 14:07:35

omg

this weekend I refused to go and sit in the car and just followed him around until he was livid. Otherwise he does exactly that.

This morning (dd1s sports day) we had to be there at 9am.

At 8.45 he was pottering aroudn in dressing gown tidying stuff away.

I swear to god I nearly seriously lost it. We had a big row about it and I accused him of being disrespectful to me and dd1 as we might miss her first race.

Of course we got there just in time and so he is now all smug and 'I told you we wouldnt be late'

I HATE IT

handlemecarefully Mon 18-Jul-05 14:08:15

But actually that is quite similar Ninah - in both cases it is the man deciding when you are ready. In my dh's case 'we' are only ready when he finally is...and ditto in your case, you are only ready when your dh prematurely decides you are!

WideWebWitch Mon 18-Jul-05 14:08:29

hahaha at the thoguht of your following him around enid. I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but ha ha

Enid Mon 18-Jul-05 14:09:11

I can laugh now but it really wasnt funny as he was popping with rage.

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