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Sister a real worry

(4 Posts)
CHOCOLATEPEANUT Wed 13-Jul-05 21:24:52

I am really worried about my sister. Shes always been a bit of a flake and doesnt stick up for herself.She has two girls aged 3 and 6.
Her hubby is a complete tw@t. He left her before xmas for another woman. During this time he turned hi back on his kids emotionally and financially.Dad and I had to lend her money. She was suicidal.He would come back saying hes had a change of heart, have sex with her then get up and say I am going to work (he has own business and works odd hours) and go back to mistress,texting sister 'changed mind'(again)He did this three times once in a week.I could go on and on. He really is horrible.He said sister would get nothing from him and she would be destitute, She eventually started divorce proceedings.When he saw what it would cost him he came back and has been back three months.He is ruled by one thing, MONEY.My sister is in terrible debt and does not know where to turn. I have tried to advise her. She now tells me that he is giving her enough cash at the end of the year to settle her debts and for them to be in clover. I know this is a lie.His business partner told us that he does not have financial control and as the business is new no money will be coming out of the business yet (brother-in-law wants to spend,spend,spend and partner has the reigns)
Matters worse as the girls are showing signs of not being happy.We argue all the time as dad and i refuse to acknowledge him and will not go to her house.The last few months have been v v bad.I was under a lot of stress, sister started to blackmail me saying could not see girls if did not make up. I lost baby at 6 mths pregnant (just died suddenly) I am angry about this and am nowing trying to concieve and dont need any more hastle.HELP

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Wed 13-Jul-05 21:27:47

Sorry did not mean to post twice

kissalot Wed 13-Jul-05 23:17:58

Sorry to hear about your loss, you must be going thru hell without the extra worry of your sister. I have sisters and we are all close though through our partners we have recently beome more distanced.

Its obvious your sis must be quite confused and really deeply affected by this bastards behaviour and is probably blackmailing you in this way because she is desperate to keep you and for some reason cling on to him.. I think it is important to remember that she must be feeling very scared so please don't lose contact with her or the kids.

Surely she will one day have her fill of this tosser and you will both get through this. You say she has never stood up for herself so this situation will be very hard for her compared to a more confident person who would have got rid by now.

what signs are the kids showing of being unhappy? If you can emphasise this to her it may be the lever to get out before it has a major impact on their development and happiness.

Also, has she shown you any support for the loss of your baby?? Support is a two way thing after all.

Probably have been no help atall, but I do sympathise with you. Good luck with conceiving and I hope it all works out for you and your sister - why are families such hard work??

kissalot Wed 13-Jul-05 23:19:29

OOpps posted on wrong one what a div.

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