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DH is driving me mad!!!! Hes so so stressed!

(11 Posts)
Sax Thu 07-Jul-05 14:33:20

What do you do when everything is driving your dh mad, you don't want to speak in case you say the wrong thing - you are trying to make sure the kids are out of his way becasue he just shouts at them and me all the time. He seems to have 'gone off' us all and is wrapped up in himself and his thoughts.
I say whats wrong? He says he's just angry, peed off and not enjoying his two weeks off becasue the children are around.

In reality I am not helping becasue I am so unmotivated - i cannot get going and am having trouble taking any pressures off him. I can't face it all atm and its hard when people keep telling me to tell him I'm depressed - whats the point - he won't be able to help if he's so down himself.

I don't want to live in this atmosphere, I hate not knowing if he's going to fly off the handle any minute. He use to be so chilled out so it seems I'm not holding it together so its all falling about our ears!

Sorry this is confusing I think but I'm a bit mixed up! Sorry I just needed a quick rant. The children have sensed it all and are playing up accordingly - making life twice as hard.
I'm not even dressed!!!!!!! whoops!

throckenholt Thu 07-Jul-05 14:40:48

>not enjoying his two weeks off becasue the children are around

what are the kids doing that is winding him up ?

How old are they ? How many ?

Can you split them up - maybe he can take one out for some quality time together, leaving you to have some fun with the other(s).

marne Thu 07-Jul-05 14:41:56

hi sax,
Sounds like my dh, he moans about evrything, gets stressed out about the house being untidy, kids, money and anything else he feels like moaning about. he drives me mad
I wish he could chill out but hes so uptite about evrything.
What are we going to do with them?

Sax Thu 07-Jul-05 14:51:55

throckenholt - they are all under 5yrs old and are all boys - always squabbling and bouncing around on the furniture - we are just constantly saying don't do this and don't do that the whole time and I'm exhausted with it but so is he!! Oldest is 4 and a half and is the hardest work - he's autistic and he's just very exhausting to be around the whole time and normally dh is obviously working and has some time off from him but now being here with him all the time and me being so ridiculous atm then he's felt a lot more pressure.
there isn't really an answer I'm jsut feeling pissed off!

HappyDaddy Thu 07-Jul-05 16:00:56

Put the news on and show him how grateful he should be that his family are happy, healthy and want to be with him.

compo Thu 07-Jul-05 16:03:21

Have you got family nearby who could help out? Could you go on trips/lunches out to make things more bearable? Could you make him a lovely romantic dinner and ask him if you try extra hard to be more positive could he do the same?

Sax Thu 07-Jul-05 16:04:25

Yeah I know - this thread is pointless - forget it - I have no rights to complain!!!

Forget it all

spidermama Thu 07-Jul-05 16:05:50

This could almost have been written by me Sax. DH is a nightmare at the moment and unwittingly takes it out on me and the kids. I keep trying to send him away fishing. I'm just hoping it'll run its couse and trying to keep out of his way. I thought men were supposed to piss off into their caves when they're feeling like this. I just wish he would.

HappyDaddy Thu 07-Jul-05 16:12:43

Sax I didn't mean that. I meant that HE should appreciate what he has more.

rummum Thu 07-Jul-05 16:36:35

My husband is exactly the same lately... grumpy... moans at the kids... moans that the house isn't tidy... I work school hours every day.. and sometime do hairdressing in the evenings (maybe 2/3 evenings) and on saturdays... yet he huffs and puffs if the house isn't tidy and dusted and moans like crazy if the shoes aren't tidy... (ffs)... Yet the dinner is always on the table when he comes home... and he moans about how hard he's worked.. one day this little voice inside me will explode .... *AHHHHH WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEE*

Does your husband enjoy his job?
Does he sleep well at night?
my husband doesn't sleep well or enjoy his job and I think this is why he is extra grumpy at the moment

lets hope things get better soon....

YeahBut Thu 07-Jul-05 17:10:47

Perhaps your dh is suffering from something a little more than grumpiness. If he's not sleeping and his mood has noticably altered, have you considered that he might be suffering from depression? Perhaps (once the kids are in bed) gently suggesting that he seems to be unhappy atm might lead you into a more revealing and productive conversation about how he's feeling. If he does open up and you suspect he might be depressed, your GP should be able to help.

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