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ex has got me into debt(9 Posts)
I am at my wits end at the moment I just don't know what to do. A couple of years ago when we were together and 'happy' he added my name to his back account so we could have a joint account together. Now we have been seperated 15 months I no longer have anything to do with his account, it is his it just has my name on it.
Today I have a phone call from his bank telling me that ex partner is nearly 2 grand in debt with them and is over £900 pound into an unauthorised over draught. I am liable for it just as much as he. Call me naive and what you like but all this just didn't occur to me. I was asked by the bank why didn't I open the statements but the truth is he redirected the statements without my permission to his new adress so I couldn't read them, a fact which I found out tonight. None of this is my fault. He spends money left right and centre. He has all in all nearly 15 thousand pouns worth of debt and has loan repayments to pay for. he bought a flash motorbike and a car to impress his 16 year old girl friend and refuses to sell them to pay off his loans. He pays money for him and above girlfriend to watch oasis which has all gone on credit cards including hotel bills and petrol. She dose not pay a penny. He still pays our joint mortgage but has defaulted this month and that is not the first time. I don't ask him for a penny for the kids, I pay EVERYTHING apart from the mortgage. I took nearly 200 pounds worth of bills from him when we split so he could get back on his feet and he wastes it on a motorbike and his bloody teenage girlfriend.
I really don't know what to do anymore this is a big shock. The bank have said if this is not sorted then they will bankrupt him (and me) and that will affect my credit status etc for a very long time.
I hate him for what he has done. I feel like crap and I just don't know what to do.. I'm struggling with money myself as it is. I can't do more hours in work as there is an overtime ban..arrgghhhh
The bloke from the bank said if I could ask him to take my name of the account then that would be good but I know my ex, he will refuse out of spite.
I'm so scared I will lose my house if this happens which again I will be prevented from ever owning my own house. I don't earn enough to get another mortgage and there are a shortage of council houses round here so a b and b is my only option. I just can't believe this is happening to me
I have no technical knowledge on this kind of thing but it must happen quite often.
In particular I can't beleive you need his permission to get your name off the account. Think you need to talk to the CAB or a ;lawyer.
Could you ask for copies of all cheques, so you can prove his signature. Also, cash/switch transactions could be traced to his card. This may help in persuading bank to at least accept an offer from you rather than whole debt. Would CAB be able to help? Threaten Ex with suing him for any debt you have to pay on his behalf?
Sorry can't help, hope you get some good legal advice.
my bank wouldnt allow dh to remove his name from an account til the account was in credit.
in fact I would think that if you can prove to the bank that you haven't lived at the statement address for 15 months you'll be off the hook. Have you tried sending them proof?
i think you need to stop feeling upset, and get in touch with a lqyer/accountant type person who knows what is what. the bank just wants it smoney and will try to intimidate you, which it sounds like they are succeeding in doing.
do you have any legal things showing you are no longer together? or any documentation showing he is no longer a part of your life?
find it and get legal help asap.
You need to see a solicitor asap to get proper advice on this. You also need some proof of when you split and who was responsible for running up the debt.
This happened to a friend of mine and she had a massive fight with the bank, but in the end, they backed down. She had to use a solicitor though, and her case was far more clear cut than yours (she had actually closed down the account, and they'd screwed up - still needed a solicitor to make them admit they were in the wrong though).
I know when you're short of money it's awful to know you need to shell more out for a solicitor, but it sounds like you can't afford not to.
Thanks for your replies. I've made an appointment to see a solicitor but my own solicitor is on holiday and won't be back until 2 weeks time so its for then. I've got proof that we are no longer together. I claim tax credits as a single person, council tax benefit and as they will see from his statements none of that debt is mine. It is all his direct debits and so on and so forth. he only thing that comes out of it is the mortgage that directly relates to me.
I did text him this morning and as usual I got a flippant 'don't worry about it, i'm sorting it reply'
While your solicitor is away, please try to see an advisor at the CAB. I am certain that they will have had experience of similar situations to yours and financial institutions are often more receptive to "solutions" when someone is involved with the CAB. I think they may even contact the bank on your behalf and obviously, won't be as easily intimidated.
It couldn't do any harm to speak to them could it ? It's free and they might be able to help.
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