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The silliest/most embrassing thing that happened sexually to u!

(23 Posts)
AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 19:51:16

Mine was when I was 16 I was with my first ever boyfriend, Charlie and we had only just started making love and I had only just lost my virginity to him and so the sex was great and he lived in London but occasionally came up north to Manchester on business and so we would go and stay in a hotel. This one time he had suggesting using a cucumber and I thought, great! and agreed. We met outside the hotel, Charlie put the cucumber inside his coat and we was very happy and excited to see each other and so went inside to book into our room and the cucumber fell out of his coat and onto the floor infront of all the reception staff and some guests and on cctv probably as well!!! It was sooo embarrasing I could've died!

charleepeters Tue 05-Jul-05 19:52:21


mytwopenceworth Tue 05-Jul-05 20:03:42

this didnt happen to me, but i heard about this girl whose boyfriend was performing os on her, and she had stomach cramps then, out of the blue and totally beyond her control...... diarrhoea

now i have to say, that would require you to leave the country, in my opinion.

AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 20:09:04

I've just realised I posted a post advertising myself as a nanny on the nanny/aupair etc... topic! Done such a lot for my reputation posting my sexual exploits!!! I'm a good girl really mummies and daddies

AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 20:10:48

eeeeuuuurghhh....mytwopenceworth....that's skank! Imagine that...doesn't pair thinking about. I always get embarrased about fanny farts, but that, she must have been mortfied poor lass!

spidermama Tue 05-Jul-05 20:11:09

Caught in the act, on the sofa, by his parents coming home early. (I was 16)

AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 20:11:11

pair = bear

fastasleep Tue 05-Jul-05 20:12:50

The time when I was pregnant... on top of DH... he said something that made me piss myself laughing... literally.

The worst thing that happened to DH was his ex girlfriend thought that when you performed os you er...sucked really hard and she burst a blood vessel in the end!! (Sort of painful yet hilarious at the same time)

vickiyumyum Tue 05-Jul-05 20:13:05

sneaking off upstairs to have a quick one when the kids were at my mums on a sunday and my dad bringing them back and opening the door with his key!!!!

gigglinggoblin Tue 05-Jul-05 20:21:33

was v drunk and fell asleep half way thru. he said he wasnt sure if i had or not so carried on .....til i started snoring! lol

AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 20:23:24


gigglinggoblin Tue 05-Jul-05 20:27:19

not sure if i should be embarrassed or if he should actually - cant have been earth shattering stuff can it (wasnt dp btw!)

fastasleep - i believe you can charge quite a lot of that sort of thing in certain circles

gigglinggoblin Tue 05-Jul-05 20:28:02

for that sort of thing

LittleStarsweeper Tue 05-Jul-05 20:29:43

Boyfriend when in my 20's, everytime he pumped away and at the point of ejaculation would uncontrollably fart kind of took the edge off the moment!

nikcola Tue 05-Jul-05 20:31:24

doing a 69 me on top i farted on dps face

LittleStarsweeper Tue 05-Jul-05 20:34:59

arrrg! thats worse than mine

mytwopenceworth Tue 05-Jul-05 20:40:02

littlestarsweeper - i think i had that guy too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

puddytats Tue 05-Jul-05 20:43:14

Got swept away in the moment saying goodnight to a former boyfriend. father thought he heard a knock on the door, opened it and we literally landed at his feet

AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 20:44:22

Lol, Nikola, what did dp say?

nikcola Tue 05-Jul-05 20:48:41

he couldnt stop laughing this was 3 years ago and he still brings it up he told all his mates dp said i was drying his face for him the cheeky bugger!!!!!!!!

HappyHuggy Tue 05-Jul-05 20:49:15


AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 20:49:58

That is so funny Nikcola!

nikcola Tue 05-Jul-05 20:51:26

he said it didnt smell though !!!!!

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