Oh I've remembered something I'm not to proud of but still ... I was in my 20's with a boyfriend at a party when one of his drinking pals started verbally abusing me for being alive and called me ugly and I let it go and laughed. ALter he fell asleep in the corner drunk and when no-one was looking I pushed him off the chair and he landed really hard on the floor. I left him there for someone else to find - apparently the next day his head really hurt
I would have wanted dh to punch him (although thats probably the wrong thing to do) but i would have needed to feel protected. Dh had the chance to prove that he could look after me three years ago and all i wanted was for him to say he was going to kill him, thats all, not actually do it but say it. to make a point of making me feel safe and secure but he didnt and ive never felt safe since. I just thought he should have the balls to stand up for me.
This guy should apologise to you before your dh considers remaining friendly. I had a bit of an argument with one of dh's friends at a wedding last year. Quite a bit led up to it but suffice to say this guy is not tactfull and I had held my tongue for too long. A little alcohol and a few home truths came out many of them my way of showing loyalty to dh. However, dh still sees this guy though he doesn't admit to it. I just feel a little let down but so long as I don't have this guy in my face I'll live with it. However, he doesn't want to fall asleep on a chair ... Oh I need help with my violent tendancies don't I??