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okay, I am about to give up . . .

(33 Posts)
Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:15:15

As some of you know I have split with my partner but we still live under the same roof with our DS aged 14 months. I am currently pushing the council for housing. We are both in serious debt and he was hoping his stepdad would step in and help him out (I would sort mine out and he would be in a better position to help me out with DS), SD has since had a change of heart and tonight I really felt for Ex - because I am a schmuck and I worry about him.

This evening we were talking about a work colleague of his and it dawned on me that he has feelings for her . . . I am hardly suprised because it had occured to me before but why I am still upset? it will never work for us again and I live for the day when I will out of here so why I am teary?

It hasn't helped that he buggered off to Glastonbury last week and next week he is off to Alton Towers with the work colleague and then to a gig where he will stay overnight - I feel like I am gearing up for the single parent lifestyle already (and I like it - so why am I still upset?)

The tosser won't talk to me about it and I did push on the work colleague thing - probably because my spider sense was tingling . . .

None of this is makes sense I guess unless I have bent your ear about it before but I am just feel so knacked and "abused" because I still put too much energy into this dead relationship and I am my own worst enemy.

Just ignore me, it was nice to ramble type!

moondog Fri 01-Jul-05 23:22:15

Gosh, sounds like a bit of an irresponsible weak loser to me. Ypu're better off without someone who doesn't seem to enhance your life in any way.

Tell yourself that next time you feel sentimental,girl!


SenoraPostrophe Fri 01-Jul-05 23:23:50

what?? he went to glasto when you're so hard up you can't leave. git.

come and stay with us for a week. if you can fly back end of july I'll contribute to the flights (but the full cost will be cheaper than glastonbury). it's hot here though.

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:28:00

You are very right Moondog, I should act like the Queen Liz that I was destined to be - I am worth 10 of him at least!

It is mad, I have no idea how I feel anymore - I could mother him forever whilst smacking him about the head with a bat - silly stupid men. They smell.

I am having a sabbatical.

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:29:41

ooh SP - that is very tempting . . . am sure I can scrape funds and time together! I need a good holiday.

I would pay board of course!

moondog Fri 01-Jul-05 23:30:52

You must NEVER mother men libb. Fatal. Not a good basis for a relationship as my friend's long and tortuous experiences with swathes of men amply demonstates.

Jeez,he doesn't even have the good taste and common decency to deny he has feeling for someone else at this time.

Shame he wasn't swept away along with the tents at Glastonbury.

What are men like this for?????

SenoraPostrophe Fri 01-Jul-05 23:31:42

board is cooking dinner a couple of times a week. I mean it - we have a spare room and a swimming pool and I do think you should get away. anytime in july. if not here then somewhere.

(NB we're not near a beach, but we are in the mountains)

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:33:00

I know, I remember once reading that in a relationship one person always gives and the other takes - I didn't think this were true but now I am not so sure . . .

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:33:52

I can do mountains - beaches are not my thing! I get fidgetty.

It is sounding more and more appealing . . .

Ponka Fri 01-Jul-05 23:34:22

Oh Libb

So sorry you are feeling really bad. You NEED a house NOW so that you can move on and leave all these feelings behind (O.K. sorry, as if you don't know that. I'm just mad at the coucil). Keep pushing.

I have my fingers crossed for you.... and my toes etc. etc.

SenoraPostrophe Fri 01-Jul-05 23:34:24

its not true (about the giving and taking) although it is true in some relationships - sounds like you're in one of those.

SenoraPostrophe Fri 01-Jul-05 23:35:22

check ryanair stansted-granada, or monarch luton/gatwick-granada. or anywhere to malaga.

moondog Fri 01-Jul-05 23:35:30

The French have a saying along the lines of one kisses and the other offers the cheek. Thing is though,the roles must be interchangeable-can't always be the same one doing the kissing....

(You're not with with my ex bf are you by any chance????? )

Thank God I saw the light when I found dh.

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:41:07

I knew it was a good idea to come here tonight . . . SP, just realised that I have an out of date passport . . . I have no idea how long it would take to update.

Ponka, thank you! I think the council are actually doing okay at the moment - I have an appointment for the access back to Cambridge scheme - this gives details of private landlords who will accept council applicants until a place comes up - sounds hopeful (?!)

Moondog, I am not totally giving up - just know that there must be someone out there, just not going to go quite so crazy next time!

expatinscotland Fri 01-Jul-05 23:43:46

Start envisioning a love affair - with yourself. Once you see what a valuable, deserving person you are, others will pick up on that, and you'll find contentment with yourself and in your life.

SenoraPostrophe Fri 01-Jul-05 23:45:28

bum, I'll have to cook my own tea then.

a council house or other new place would also help a lot though. fingers crossed for the scheme thingy.

expatinscotland Fri 01-Jul-05 23:46:28

I agree, SP. Once you are no longer living with him things will gradually get a less painful.

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:47:13

I'll swing by and cook you tea one day SP - promise. xxx

Libb Fri 01-Jul-05 23:51:32

Oh I know it will get better - I just had to kick off about the git.

I just seems like so much other stuff has turned against me recently, the bank wants a chunk of my overdraft back within a month, my most favourite of favourite work colleagues (and bloody good friend) left today and left me with the grumpy numpties, and I am just tired of thinking, calculating and worrying about money and housing - I wish I could doss in a field! (and I would if the bugger hadn't managed to get MY tent nicked at Glasto - the arse)

SenoraPostrophe Fri 01-Jul-05 23:56:23

ouch. have you asked the bank to reconsider?

let's think positive though. i'l come and visit in your NEW house in aug.

Libb Sat 02-Jul-05 00:00:07

I will meet you in the park if it a grott hole though! Or we could go punting . . .

Libb Sat 02-Jul-05 00:01:08

the bank have given me 8 weeks - I wouldn't mind but they extended the OD off their own back and now have asked it back! What the heck?

SenoraPostrophe Sat 02-Jul-05 00:18:57

punting! now you're talking. not sure ds (18 months) would sit still for long enough though.

re the bank - I'm a little drunk and facetious now, but this is a semi serious suggestion: could you sell something of your H's?

Libb Sat 02-Jul-05 00:22:42

Oh bless, I am going to check out passports asap - you are drunk! he has nowt to sell . . .

SenoraPostrophe Sat 02-Jul-05 00:25:08

i'm on second lie in tomorrow, but will cat you at some point (after i've had another go at sorting this database mess out)

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