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Does your dp/dh have a problem with your weight?

(42 Posts)
AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:31:14

I was just thinking about an ex of mine whom for about 6 months I lived with. I was only about a size 16 then (I'm a size 20 now!) and he was so mean to me. He was always commenting on my weight and putting me down, and if I fished for a compliment he always said he wouldnt compliment me because I was too fat to look nice!

The final straw was when he got back from his holiday and I met him at the coach station as I had been staying with my friend while he was away and we had absolutely nothing in the fridge or freezer and we were both ravenous so we stopped at a kfc style takeaway on the way home and he ordered chicken and chips for himself then told me I couldnt have nothing because he didnt want me going any fatter! It could have scarred me for life but it didnt and i'm totally over him and happy with how I look!!!

kama Fri 01-Jul-05 14:32:20

Message withdrawn

emily05 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:35:48

I am a size 28, was a size 12 when I met dh - he has always excepted me whatever weight I am and is a total gem.
Glad that you ex is now an ex!

lucy5 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:37:56

no he doesnt but i do sometimes.

Twiglett Fri 01-Jul-05 14:39:56

I was with a guy (on and off) for about 3 years at uni and over the first summer hols when I wasn't with him I dieted down to a small size 10 from a good size 12 under the false impression that that was what would make him love me

.. his comment was 'you look good but shame about the fat knees' .. and I let him treat me like that

I stayed with him for 2 more years after that desperate for him to adore me .. what a sad deluded fool I was

I've just started a diet because after 2 children I'm a size 16 and would like to be a 12 - 14 again and last week my DH said 'I love your bum and your curves'

lets hear it for the good men in this world, and for our ability to grow up

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:39:59

aww emily, your dh sounds lovely!

paolosgirl Fri 01-Jul-05 14:40:11

I'm probably going to upset people here...but I have a problem with DH's weight. He now weighs 18 stone (that's more than double my weight), and at 6' 1" is now classed as obese.
I still love him lots, of course - but I don't like the weight. I will support him in losing the weight, but he's not that motivated.

emily05 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:41:45

anna - he is lovely - but my ex's were as bad as yours! In my experience if a bloke is not nice they will pick on anything to be in control. Even if you are slim they will find something to hold over you iyswim.

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:42:10

most men, a few week into the relationship have actually got the nerve to tell me about my weight. i'm not the fattest person on earth, and im definately the thinnest! Why cant ppl just accept others for who they are and look past their looks?

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:43:08

do u have a go at him because of his weight paolosgirl?

Nemo1977 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:45:11

im same as emily i was a 12 when i met dh and am now about a 26/28. DH doesnt care at all and just loves me for the fact i am me despite me having had depression, putitng on weight etc. EX i had before him was horirble but then he was thin as a rake and even his mum would comment if i ate something

emily05 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:45:19

paolosgirl - not upset me at all.
I weigh more than your dh and I hate it. There are not many people I think that like being over weight. I am on a diet and am feeling really positive about things but have had a few dark years when I didnt't and dh has seen me through.

I wasnt' motivated, but I got there in the end and now I am (fingers crossed!) Keep sticking with it and I am sure that your dh will want to do something about it.

paolosgirl Fri 01-Jul-05 14:46:37

I don't have a go at him as such, but I point out that he looks fitter, better and healthier without it. He has high blood pressure that isn't helped by the weight, and a history of heart disease in the family - so he is storing up trouble. I don't want the kids to be without a dad at a young age.
He talks about losing weight, but doesn't actually do much about it, which is a bit frustrating.

Nemo1977 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:47:13

i agree with emily i dont like being big. At the min i am 16wks pg and trying to cut down on my eating..as soon as this baby is born i plan on losing the weight

emily05 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:47:19

Nemo - your ex and his mum sound like they have issues! Glad you have somebody nice now.

Anna - I would love to be a size 20 and that is my aim at the moment, so dont you worry at all.

emily05 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:48:20

congrats nemo on your pregnancy - that is great!

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:48:23

is it safe to diet while you're pregnant?

Nemo1977 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:48:32

paolosgirl that is what motivates me to loose weight now..i dont want my son and db to end up with no mum cos i have a heart attack or something its not fair on them that i choose to eat in a way that makes me put weight on

Nemo1977 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:49:04

anna im not dieting
just not eating as much of the snacky stuff

WigWamBam Fri 01-Jul-05 14:49:55

I have always thought that people should be judged on what they say and what they do, not by the way they look or what the label in the back of their jeans says. I weigh more than your husband does too, paolosgirl, and although my dh sometimes worries about my health, he has no problems otherwise with my size. He thinks that sexiness comes from a woman's mind, not her body, and loves me for who I am, not what shape or size I am.

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:52:11

well congrats on your pregnancy nemo! I hope it all goes well for u, dp and baby xxx

Nemo1977 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:53:32

thanlks anna i am actually same size as i was when pg with ds and the only prob i had was at 20 wk scan they couldnt see everything clearly so i got an extra one so not really that bothered.

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:54:02

paolosgirl, well just make sure that he doesnt think you're pressurising him and dont have a go at him otheriwse he might just be like me and comfort eat if someone makes me feel bad!

tortoiseshell Fri 01-Jul-05 14:54:16

My dh has a huge problem with my weight. Don't know what I weigh, but vary between 14-16 (more like a 16 but 14 in some shops). Every meal time he questions what we are eating, he says he is very depressed on account of my weight, just NEVER lets up on it. It's the main cause of rows between us. I would like to be slimmer, and am trying to eat healthily (rather than crash diet), but have to say it's not because he goes on at me so much.

AnnaInManchester Fri 01-Jul-05 14:54:37

aww, do u know if you're having a boy or a girl?

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