Hi.
My hub suffers from depression, he did before we met but I didnt know until we had been married four years and it came back. He lost his job, got over it, got another job, lost it, he's been in work now for eighteen months, although he had a month off in March for another bout of depression.
The thing is, he's OK until ANYTHING, however little, goes wrong. And if it does, it's ALWAYS my fault. Printer messes up? What did you do to it. A few muddy pae prints on floor? You NEVER clean (actually I had SCRUBBED that floor!). Can't get house deposit back when we moved? Must have been the kids fingerprint you left on the door (so tiny I missed it)- nothing to do with the fact he patched the walls in completely the wrong colour, or that our eldest is disable and smashed a wall in, of course.
Everyone says how well I cope with it, but I don't know if I can any more. I do love 'him' but I don't get to see that side of him very much. If I ask him to say if he loves me, or argue / debate anything, I'm blackmailing him.
I don't know what to do. My kids are being affected by it, but I really don't know. He CAN be great, really hands on and helpful and loving, when he's not ill. I've been made to sign every penny I have over to him (he overspent so badly - again my fault even though I have no access to his account- that we couldn't feed the kids otherwise) and my account is seriosuly in minus figures, as a result. We've only just signed this lease, and I know he won't pay voluntarily anything, he says he'd move away completely or kill himself. he often says that, daily sometimes. I had to call the police once to find him.
I'm very low anyway as I have to wake hourly with my son's disability but we've been refused any help, so I never get more that one or at most two hours continuous sleep (Hubby works nights), son has violent fits so I have to check to see if all kids OK- he tried to strangle one once, but as I say, doctors won't sedate or offer support.
Should I sit this one out and wait? Should I wait until he is more stable? I think if I ask him to go, he'd kill himself.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Need some advice
16 replies
StarMum101 · 30/06/2005 09:36
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.