Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

no respect for privacy!!!

(25 Posts)
crazycanuck Wed 29-Jun-05 14:17:02

am I way out of order for expecting MIL to knock and wait for someone to answer the door rather than just waltzing in unannounced as she does? I have asked on no less than 2 occasions for her to do so and she has completely ignored my wishes! (angry)

crazycanuck Wed 29-Jun-05 14:17:36

oops! that was supposed to be angry emoticon!!

lilaclotus Wed 29-Jun-05 14:20:34

can't you lock the front door or put a latch on?

lilaclotus Wed 29-Jun-05 14:21:14

i mean, i always lock the front door as i go into the house. it's a habit..

marz Wed 29-Jun-05 14:21:18

I was just about to ask how come you leave front door open????

homemama Wed 29-Jun-05 14:22:09

I'd lock the door!

Iklboo Wed 29-Jun-05 14:23:21

Lock the door or put the chain on. But she should have the courtesy to knock and wait.

starlover Wed 29-Jun-05 14:26:52

hmm i dunno.. yes, if you have asked her to knock then she should.

my family and friends always just let ourselves in each others houses though. or sometimes knock and then just go in.... that's just us though... agree that she should respect your wishes

zubb Wed 29-Jun-05 14:30:15

If you asked then she should respect that. I have the opposite problem - my MIL won't just walk in, unlike my family and friends, and I have told her to.
But as others say if you don't like people just walking in then lock the door.

crazycanuck Wed 29-Jun-05 14:38:54

actually have been locking doors but with hot weather have been leaving back door wide open to let breeze in. she cottoned on to fact that front door was locked and has been coming round to back now without even trying front. it just really irks me that it has come down to basically baricading (sp?) myself in the house! on my 2nd day home with ds I had just got him down and laid down myself to have a nap and all of a sudden MIL and her sister walk in, parade into our bedroom where for all appearances I am asleep on the bed, and start yacking over ds's cot, waking him up! as you can see I am stewing over all this but have resigned myself to door-locking as only solution. just having a rant really!!

KBear Wed 29-Jun-05 14:53:13

where do you live that you can go for a nap and not lock your doors?!!! I don't go upstairs for a wee without locking the back door. This became a habit after my SIL was hoovering her living room once and a bloke walked in the back door.

crazycanuck Wed 29-Jun-05 15:04:57

kbear we live in jersey in a quiet 'rural' neighbourhood.

Iklboo Wed 29-Jun-05 15:05:53

<starts packing bags to move to jersey>

Lizzylou Wed 29-Jun-05 15:06:40

Lock all the doors and tell her why you've locked them...I'd be furious!

edam Wed 29-Jun-05 15:15:12

No, she's out of order for not respecting your personal space, your wishes and your need for some kip when you've just given birth (imagine that's what second day home means? congrats!).
Some people are just ruddy rude - coming into your bedroom without permission?! I'd be horrified!

jampots Wed 29-Jun-05 15:18:50

my inlaws do this too if we have inadvertently left the door unlocked. They have also been known to ring from mobiles and call through the back gate and even went to our neighbours house once to call over the hedge!

KBear Wed 29-Jun-05 15:23:28

Lucky you - I live in London - HUGE difference then!

tallulah Wed 29-Jun-05 18:41:39

My FIL used to have our spare key, as he looked after our pets while we were on holiday. He got into the habit of every time he came round using his key instead of knocking .

The last straw was when he suddenly burst into our living room one Sunday evening & frightened us to death. DH was at work & me & the kids were all in our PJs because we'd all had a bath.

I had asked DH to say something to him many times, but either he didn't or FIL took no notice. When we moved house, FIL did not get given the spare key! It's a bit of a faff if we need to take the key down to him before we go away (doesn't happen so much now that DS1 stays behind) but at least I know he can't come wandering in unannounced!

Twiglett Wed 29-Jun-05 18:42:56

don't ask her .. get DH to TELL HER

how rude and obnoxious of her

HappyDaddy Mon 04-Jul-05 08:04:59

Next time you're expecting her to visit, make sure you and dh are having sex on the kitchen table. She'll definately knock and wait from then on!!

mytwopenceworth Mon 04-Jul-05 08:08:27

pmsl happydad! you are a very wicked man!

hell, would work a treat though!

crazycanuck Mon 04-Jul-05 16:19:58

believe it or not, I think she would just stand there and chat away HappyDaddy! last year before we had ds, one lazy afternoon after doing, ahem!, the deed!, dh and I decided to stay in bed and drink a bottle of wine while watching a dvd, completely starkers (under the covers, mind!). not 10 minutes later we hear the front door open and in walks MIL and stands in our bedroom door blathering away like there was nothing amiss!!

so you can see this is a bit of a recurring theme in our house and I'm afraid she's either a bit thick in these matters or just doesn't give a flying fig!

spidermama Mon 04-Jul-05 16:33:27

My MIL waltzes into my BEDROOM without knocking. I've complained to dh but he says it's a family thing and ... get this ... I should be pleased that she obviously feels close enough to be able to do this.
I wouldn't walk into anyone's room without knocking.

mytwopenceworth Mon 04-Jul-05 16:43:19

locks locks locks - unless.....

dont suppose you feel brave enough to, next time she walks in, say stop please, would you step outside and knock, i do not appreciate your just walking into my home.
and then wait and insist she goes outside and knocks at your door to be let back in

i would bet my last family sized bar of whole nut she would NEVER just waltz in again

and if she did, repeat the process!!

spidermama Mon 04-Jul-05 17:30:41

Don't know about you CC but I feel so beholden to my MIL as she really, properly helps out with the kids when she's around and is the only one who does.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now