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Does anyone live with their Mother?

(10 Posts)
triplets Mon 20-Jun-05 22:24:18

Hi,
My mother lives on her own and has decided at 77 to move house as she is so fed up with her neighbours, she has lived there for over 47 years. I partly agree with her, this family are truly awful. I am worried that she will regret it if she does, then of course there will be no going back. She viewed a flat near to me, which I feel would have been a good move, easy for me to get to her if she needs me, I have 4 brothers, but I know I will be the one to look after her. One of my brothers has suggested that she and we both sell and buy somewhere bigger for us all. That way we get a larger house and nice garden for the kids which we desperately need, and Mum gets looked after when she needs it. She is keen, so is Harry, but I just feel not ready for it, sounds awful, but I will be in my 60`s with a houseful of teenagers, a husband in his mid 70`s and my Mother in her 80`s! Anybody out there who has done it, living with a parent?

KBear Mon 20-Jun-05 22:32:52

My nan lived with us - big mistake. Obviously depends on the circumstances and living arrangements but teenagers and 80 year olds don't mix - full stop.

And haven't YOU got enough to do?????? Sort your brothers out.

toothyboy Mon 20-Jun-05 22:34:02

Triplets, you are quite right to be cautious. My mum has cared for her aunt and her own parents into their 90s. It's exhausting and stressful, especially if they have demanding physical and mental needs.
Having said that when it's your mum, what else can you do? It's big, life-changing decision which you must be sure of.

trefusis Mon 20-Jun-05 22:35:22

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triplets Mon 20-Jun-05 22:55:27

Hi,
Have read your past thread and the message is clear, but why do we feel so guilty about it? Harry is for the idea which has surprised me, but I know he is thinking that it will be the only way we can have a bigger house and gareden for the children, but that reason isn`t enough for me.

trefusis Mon 20-Jun-05 23:08:43

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aloha Mon 20-Jun-05 23:30:57

Also, let's face it, if she did live with you it would be you who took the burden of caring for her. Not your husband so much, and certainly not your brothers. The flat sounds like a good option and then you can bully your brothers into visiting her often enough to let you get on with your already quite busy and stressful enough life! I think you have a hell of a lot on your plate and if something will add to your stress levels, then it's something you will be better without.
Good luck!

expatinscotland Mon 20-Jun-05 23:33:14

I wish I could have my mum closer by. Didn't used to, but as DD grows and we're expecting the second, I miss her terribly. I even dream of one day having them round the corner.

But living in the same house? Well, I think we'd both drive each other round the twist. Unless it were a Lotto situation where we lived on a large, compound-type of property with extended family round.

triplets Tue 21-Jun-05 09:09:50

Hi all,
I have decided that it is not an option, I truly do have enough on my plate, life is far from easy. I am seeing her this morning and I want to show her a super little cottage I have found that has a lovely garden, I am sure she would find living with us as stressful as us living with her! Thank you all for your sound advice.

trefusis Tue 21-Jun-05 13:09:11

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