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feighning affection in friendships – necessary?

(5 Posts)
kneedeepinthedirtylaundry Mon 09-Nov-09 14:09:53

I feel there is a lot of fake "oh so nice to see you", "we must get together soon" and "mwah" in friendships that are casual that can't possibly be sincere. Is it necessary to keep things on a nice footing? Or is it just a bad habit? When I don't do it cos I don't mean it, people don't like it...

electra Mon 09-Nov-09 14:15:34

Surely in a genuine friendship there is no need to feign affection? Because you just feel it naturally?

kneedeepinthedirtylaundry Mon 09-Nov-09 14:16:44

I guess I mean level of affection. People I don't know that well, getting to know, being all lovely dovey when they can't possibly mean it. Or people you work with.

onestep Mon 09-Nov-09 16:52:21

Do you mean for example somebody you've just met at work or on the school run who seems pleasant enough but is a bit ott ?

Sometimes I've met people like this who start immediately being all uber friendly and hugging like you're their long lost very best friend.

Often when I DO get to know them better i find they are often insecure in some way and come across as a bit intense.

<<Puts on reserved analytical facade>>

kneedeepinthedirtylaundry Wed 11-Nov-09 13:53:55

sorry to disappear – yes onestep, if you're still there, that's the kind of thing I mean. What I particularly hate is "Oh we must meet up", so you take them seriously and try to arrange something, but it turns out they don't really want to and make excuses. Why fucking say it then? It's not like I make obvious overtures of interest or anything! Do people often say "we must meet up" when they don't mean it?

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