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Worried about daughter - weird ex-boyfriend -

(13 Posts)
snowaddict Mon 09-Nov-09 10:19:18


My daughter split up with her boyfriend early this year.

Since then they have remained good friends going out together in a big group of friends. But he always texts her and likes to keep tabs on her quite closely - was always a bit controlling and had very quick temper. One of reasons they split up.

Thought everything was ok with them until she started going out with someone else who is a friend of a friend of their group.

He has took it really bad - Acting a little weird - losing his temper over silly little incidents etc. - when they have been out in there big group of friends. He obviously still has feeling for her.

Anyone else been in this situation - how can it be helped. Worried what he might do.

snowaddict Mon 09-Nov-09 10:37:15


foxytocin Mon 09-Nov-09 10:48:29

i would be worried too but I have no ideas. as your dd confided in you that he is taking it badly?


Chickenshavenolips Mon 09-Nov-09 10:53:38

Have you spoken to your DD? How old is she? How old is the ex?

AboardtheAxiom Mon 09-Nov-09 10:57:05

Yes how old are they? Has she told him they will never get back together? Can someone else in the group have a quiet word with him?

If they are fairly young it may simply be a case of when he finds someone new (god help them) he will lose interest.

Are your DD's friends aware of his controlling nature and temper?? Do they keep a look out for her?

I think she should be a little cautous over things like how he is gettting to and from places when socialising with the group and he will be there, maye sharing a lift and being first dropped off for example.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 09-Nov-09 11:02:05

I would also ask how old both these people are. This man could well have taken it badly no matter who else she goes out with.

She should think about changing her phone number and or blocking his.

This is not healthy at all and is a potentially dangerous for your DD. Her ex could well end up stalking her and constant text messages can amount to harrassment (stalking is taken more seriously by the police these days). It is a situation that needs to be taken very seriously by your DD.

snowaddict Mon 09-Nov-09 11:33:17

Thanks for your replies they are 18.

Yes all the friends are aware of how he is with her. He has confided in one friend that he still has strong feelings for her.

I sense that she is not telling me the full story, cause she doesnt want to worry me.

They are both at uni. started in september. He has accommodation near to hers.

I know the problem is that he has continued to be very much in her life, due to the mutual friends etc.

Never moved on at all.

snowaddict Mon 09-Nov-09 11:35:54

Obviously, I'm still getting used to her being away from home. So this is quite concerning for me.

snowaddict Mon 09-Nov-09 15:45:30

bump any more advice please.worried mum

NicknameTaken Mon 09-Nov-09 15:52:26

It's really hard to comment without knowing the people concerned. It may never go beyond him acting like a bit of a prat.

Given that you have a sense that she's not telling you everything, I suppose all you can do is give her the opportunity to open up - tell her you worry more when you don't have information so that your imagination runs wild.

Chickenshavenolips Mon 09-Nov-09 15:54:53

Agree with NicknameTaken. Isn't everyone a bit of a prat at 18?

snowaddict Mon 09-Nov-09 19:41:29

Thanks - fingers crossed they will no repercussions.

Fabster Mon 09-Nov-09 19:44:56

Get her to change her number?

Take a break from going out in a group when he is there?

Stop replying to his texts?

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