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Do men really have to have a chase for it to be a rewarding relationship??

(6 Posts)
chocolatespiders Sun 08-Nov-09 13:17:35

This follows on from another thread i have read this morning.. Having been single for 4 years... which have really enjoyed. I have now met a new man.. it is very early days for us... But he is so lovely and so caring, everything i have never had before and i am finding it a bit to good to be true.. which probably comes from my own insecurities..

In the past i have played games like delaying text replies and basically played hard to get. But with him it just feels that i dont want to play these games, but now i am worrying I am making it to easy for him as he is not having to chase me so wont like me as much?.. could this be true?

Snorbs Sun 08-Nov-09 13:21:45

Re-frame the question to this: "Should I do what I feel is right and so be true to myself, or should I pretend to behave in ways other than those I am comfortable with to suit other people's ideas about how I should lead my life".

Game-playing just strikes me as rather juvenile. If you're a teenager then play hard-to-get if you wish, but for adults is seems rather bizarre to me.

diddl Sun 08-Nov-09 13:44:07

I also think perhaps age comes into it.

My husband & I met at 30.

No time to mess about!

AnyFucker Sun 08-Nov-09 13:47:07

what snorbs said

if it feels right, it is right

don't overthink it

duke748 Sun 08-Nov-09 14:31:12

I would second the not playing games.

However I would also say that it makes sense to not drop everything and everyone as soon as a man enters you life.

For example, if you usually see a friend on a Wednesday night and your new man wants to see you on a Wednesday then say that you can't make that day and make HIM rearrange rather than make your friend rearrange.

Remember one of the things he probably likes about you in your self sufficiency, your ability to mix with people, you fun loving nature. Don't change all of that just because you are excited about spending time with him.

Do you want the guy who is always hanging around like a lost puppy and getting under your feet? Or do you want the man who has a fun and interesting life that he wants to share with you?

I think that is what people mean when they talk about 'the chase', not lying and deceiving a man in order to comply with some unknown 'rules'.

From your post it sounds like you are having lots of fun, so keep doing whatever it is you are doing!

chocolatespiders Mon 09-Nov-09 19:21:06

I think age plays a part i am 33 now not 16

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