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Just a big fat angry vent off!

(6 Posts)
Fluffydreamer Fri 06-Nov-09 23:53:38

Hello, not really posted much before but im strugglin at the mo and was hoping someone can help me with this situation.

Dh and i decided on a break xmas time we had 6 - 7 months on a break although not technically on a break as there was some too-ing and froing in between blush and we agreed we would stay faithful until we completly decided it was over

Got back together in June/July and things were really good better than ever. All came crashing down recently as i discovered that in spite of the tooing and froing- he had been seeing someone else in this break, and he had ended things to come back to me.

what makes this worse is when he came back they kept in contact as friends by text, as he felt she needed him and that they were able to talk about alot of similar problems they had had at that time. She was an acquance of ours and due to where we live work etc i have to see her everyday angry.

After the fuming i have thought things through and i do love DH, however i am struggling to see how this could ever work now due to the lack of consideration when considering the partner. This person was known to me and at the time they had "this thing she came to my house and everything" like everything was normal im so angry with them both and dont know which way to move on?

She has made comments about waiting for him, and that she loves him angrywhilst he is insisting its me he wants. I have never felt like punching anyone so much in my life arrrgh! and i just dont know what to do

Fluffy I don't have any pearls of wisdom but am bumping in the hope that someone else may. sad

picmaestress Sat 07-Nov-09 12:23:25

I don't think there's any point in being angry with her. You don't know what he's told her for a start.

I think he's behaved really badly. He felt like 'she needed him'?? WTF? How about his wife needing him? At that point, he should have cut off all contact, out of respect for you and your relationship.

He's lied to you repeatedly, and he sounds like he's hedging his bets. And lying to both of you. And sleeping with both of you. Nice.

Hope you're alright. You won't be able to just 'move on' either. You need to get to the bottom of why he thinks it's okay to deceive everyone around him.

I don't think he sounds like the kind of guy who makes a good husband tbh, no matter how much you love him. Sorry sad Post more if you need support.

Fluffydreamer Mon 09-Nov-09 20:26:19

Thanks for your post, tbh i agree i just wish i could make it all stop. its such a mess just want to be happy and know that aint gonna happen for a while.

What makes it worse is the woman is a munter angry and he is just obv not the man i thought he was and that kills me sad. I just keep getting suckered into the whole "we can get over it" thing when i know in reality we probably cant!

anonymous85 Tue 10-Nov-09 03:54:51

What's a munter lol

Sounds like a mess. I'd be pretty pissed with him going off doing that behind your back. I'd want him to cut the contact and give it a proper good chance otherwise it would be over. Otherwise you're going to live a life of torment with this other woman hanging around at his beck and call - could very possibly just run to her if any little thing goes pear shaped.

Fluffydreamer Tue 10-Nov-09 21:55:02

A munter as you may have figured out is a slang term used to discribe someone you feel is very unattractive lol grin although DH obv had a different view point shock

All contact as between him and her has now stopped, and he is adamant its me he loves and wantshmm. I however have to see her everyday if not twice a day angry and it is driving me mad.

He gives me the banter and my rose tinted specs slip on, then i see her and im back to square one. I have never been so damn mixed up in my life! and i just cant see - even now how i have calmed he could bring himself to do it and with her, with someone i know - who my children know and formed part of my day to day life angry

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