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Has anyone pushed someone away because they loved them TOO much and didn't want to get hurt?

8 replies

poshsinglemum · 06/11/2009 21:16

I feel like such a twonk.

I hav eposted about this before but I wanted top present a different perspective.

Ten years ago I met this wonderful man. I loved him from the word go but I was in a relationship with a very abusive man and he was also in a relationship.

I broke up with very abusive man and had to ditch my career and almost died from an eating disorder etc. I think I had a nervous breakdown.

A year later my loved one came back to town and he was also single. I had the opportunity to get with him as I was terrified. The love I felt was sooo great that I didn't want to get hurt so I pushed him away. He was sooo nice to me and I can't believe I didn't get with him.

Ten years on he's back in town and I still feel the same for him but now he has a gf.

What a prize twit I was not to get with him. I am kicking myself and very sad tbh.

Everyone thinks he likes me as he bluches an dwaves etc but it's too late. I am trying to move on but still.

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poshsinglemum · 06/11/2009 21:17

I gues sthe moral of the story is - if you really love someone don't be a twonk like me and let them go. If you have been hurt take that risk again if you can.

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poshsinglemum · 06/11/2009 21:18

Sorry- I meant to say I had the opportunity to get with him BUT I was terrified.

I had also recently been hurt by sleeping with a few men who didn't mean much to me but then dumped me.

I guess I thought that if he did the same then the pain would be too great.

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poshsinglemum · 07/11/2009 10:11

So i'm the only total twonk round here when it comes to love then?

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Anniegetyourgun · 07/11/2009 10:26

If you were the only twonk, this would be a very very small talkboard. Forgive yourself for the mistake, but remember the might-have-been is always appealing because imagination can be perfect in a way that real life never is.

Just a wee word of warning: if "everyone thinks he likes you", but he's got a girlfriend, either this is a no-go situation or he is not nearly as nice as you thought he was.

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duke748 · 07/11/2009 12:48

Wise words Annie.....

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poshsinglemum · 07/11/2009 13:17

Well I fell in love with him the first time when I was in a long -term relationship and so was he so I guess I'm not a very nice person either! I loved my boyfriend but was smitten with this guy. I was torn.
The difference is, he would never do anything about it.
When he made a play for me before we had just split up with our partners. I am a dickhead seriously.

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2rebecca · 07/11/2009 14:19

No, sounds very stupid. Better to have loved and lost etc.

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poshsinglemum · 07/11/2009 19:26

It is very stupid - you are right and I really don't know what possessed me. I had a period of about three to four years when I was making the most ridiculous decisions ever.

The only explanation I can come with is that I loved the absuive twat so much but he wrecked my head and I no longer truusted my judgement. I won't be making that mistake again.