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I feel so sad, I love someone I can't have

(13 Posts)
caustinwidely Fri 06-Nov-09 12:24:20

I know it is pointless and stupid and a waste of energy, but I can't help the way I feel. Nothing has happened, nothing will happen, but I can't move on. He is always there at the back of my mind. We don't see each other constantly so I can't really avoid him much more than I do already. I feel gutted.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 06-Nov-09 12:31:03

Ah, I'm sure we've all been there. What a pity there is only one Jonny Depp...!

busybutterfly Fri 06-Nov-09 12:33:08

Is it because he's married? If not, why can't you?

stickylittlefingers Fri 06-Nov-09 12:46:18

don't try to not think about it. Let yourself think things through, think scenarios through - whatever the reason you can't have a relationship will keep cropping up, eventually you will move on.

Sorry, it's horrible, you will get past it eventually.

caustinwidely Fri 06-Nov-09 14:35:54

He's married.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM Fri 06-Nov-09 14:38:07

you'll get over it sooner or later, just takes time and is worse as nothing you can do, just try and move forward.

jazzygirl Fri 06-Nov-09 14:39:52

As someone who has been there, married men bring nothing but pain. If it hurts now, imagine if something did happen and nine months down the line it ended. Excruciating.
You have all my sympathy but save yourself!! There are good single men out there (I hope).x

Chickenshavenolips Fri 06-Nov-09 14:42:22

Put all that energy into yourself. He's married, so it's not going anywhere. Do things to make your life better. At some point, while you're too busy having a fabulous life to sit and think, the pain will fade and you'll be ready to meet someone who is available.

diddl Fri 06-Nov-09 17:45:34

Is it him being married that makes you want him?

wheresthecorkscrew Fri 06-Nov-09 18:01:34

Diddl, that's a bit harsh

I'd agree with Chicken - I'm also recently apart from the love of my life - he no longer wants to be with me and the only way I'm coping is to make a huge effort to make small steps to make a life away from the reminders - married men are never worth the loss of your self worth - trust me. It's going to be tough but there honestly is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how far away it seems.

NearlySilver Fri 06-Nov-09 18:45:30

Hi caustin...
I am with you on this. It hurts, and there is nothing I can do about it except get very very busy doing worthy stuff. I am studying for a diploma, running a Committee, and tomorrow doing a charity supper for 50. All to blot out the man I fell in love with who isn't available. In the words of the immortal Bay City Rollers "No matter what I do, I only want to be with you!"
You have my sympathy.

PS Diddl you are right. He is magnetically attractive because he isn't familiar. Unlike DH who is ever present and annoying...

veryconfusedandupset Sat 07-Nov-09 09:13:40

Mee too - I fell in love with a mm this summer - I thought I couod cope with it but the 3 months of pleasure were not worth the pain I'm now suffering - he couldn't cope with the stress of being in two relationships. I don't work with him but we do need to meet in connection with our work ( that is how we met) The pain of being rejected by someone who 12 weeks earlier send me a poem of adoration everyday and said he wanted to be with me forever is really very intense, and this situation just reduces your self esteem to zero - please be stro;ng and don't go there.

caustinwidely Mon 09-Nov-09 13:24:28

Thanks for the advice. I think I just have to move on, I have made a fool of myself. I will concentrate on making plans for christmas and getting my house in order.

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