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Is there a prize or award for living with the most irritating and/or infantile man?

(36 Posts)
blinks Fri 06-Nov-09 12:07:58

just wondering whether i could gain financially from having a prize knob for a husband.

a sash of some kind would suffice.

BunnyLebowski Fri 06-Nov-09 12:09:37

Half has assets when you divorce him?

Has he done something specific or is he just guilty of general knobbery?

blinks Fri 06-Nov-09 12:56:37

<laughs hysterically at mention of assets>

specific AND general.

shit lifestyle

no exercise

only consumes coffee until evening only to pig
out on crap

has started getting oesophogeal spasms strong enough that we had to call him an ambulance as it was mimicking a heart attack






the other day when he had a docs appointment to address some of these issues, i insisted on coming in an intervention stylee (there was of course resistence but i was determined) and filled his gp in on some of these facts as i know that oesophogeal spasms can be in part caused by diet and lifestyle. he was told in no uncertain terms that he HAS to change these things asap or it will only get worse. he was saying all the right things after the appointment but this morning i asked if he's been having breakfasts, lunch etc he became soooo defensive, accusing me of being a rottweiller who is hell bent on 'changing him'.

yesterday he had a 'brunch' of a sausage roll and today i made him a packed lunch and made him have flakes and toast. when i remarked about having to behave like him mum he said it wasn't by 'popular choice'.

what a fucking dick. he exhausts me, he really does <wanders off muttering>

fraggletits Fri 06-Nov-09 13:03:52

sounds like my cousins xhusband.

He became so pathetic it turned into more of a mother and son relationship than husband and wife. When she found herself phoning him from work every morning to make sure he was up and changing the bandage on his leg and cleaning his wound when he cut himself (not badly at all I hasten to add) - she decided enough was enough and gave him the 'eave 'o

I say give him an ultimatum smile

busybutterfly Fri 06-Nov-09 13:09:45

I could do you a sash if you like. Or is the knowledge that you're a winner enough? smile

blinks Fri 06-Nov-09 13:31:00

he used to drink alot and smoke (was in music biz, hedonistic lifestyle etc) but gave them up when we had children (we gave up the fags together) so i think he sees this ridiculous eating pattern as his last piece of rebellion.

it's the 'you're trying to chaaaange mee' nonsense that pisses me off the most. we've been together a long time and surely everyone changes as you age and become a tad more responsible??? or am I the mad one? he's nearing his late forties (i'm 11 years younger), has two small children and a family history of heart disease and strokes.

fuck the sash actually- gimme a crown.

pingviner Fri 06-Nov-09 15:40:07

theres some good evidence that married men live longer than single
and married women die quicker than single women
probably through this sort of relationship crap...

cruisemum1 Fri 06-Nov-09 16:11:46

blinks - sounds like a trophy of some description is definitely in order. though I would run a close 2nd with my dh. More later, breathe in...........and

Awhowcutewhentheysleep Fri 06-Nov-09 16:37:44

Blinks I think your idea of award is fab.

I don't think it'd be totally unreasonable to ask for a putting up with prize pricks award for all the women who have to put up with total nobs. After all we have music awards when sometimes it can hardly be called that (I'm 26 and hate alot of the modern crap called music. House.. I thought that was something you lived in)

Crown.. I think you deserve more than that. We need a throne here I think and a nice fat reward cheque. 8 figures should cover pain and suffering

cruisemum1 Fri 06-Nov-09 19:24:42

awhowcute - hear hear! grin

Anniegetyourgun Fri 06-Nov-09 19:58:17

There ain't no prize big enough to make me stay with my ex-nob. He is still starving himself, using horrid little cigars (because he likes them less than cigarettes so he'll be tempted to smoke fewer of them hmm) and beer to damp his appetite because he can't afford food. If he wasn't of astonishingly tough genetic stock he wouldn't have survived anything like this long. But now it isn't my problem.

You know what you're doing wrong, Blinks? You're trying to keep the idiot alive, against his will. All right-thinking wives would just take out a very large insurance policy and pass him another sausage roll.

cruisemum1 Fri 06-Nov-09 21:12:50

lol annie! like your style!

blinks Fri 06-Nov-09 21:17:57

<pops sausage rolls in oven>

he is a champion arse but simultaneously lovely.

i shall accept the crown and 8 figure payout though. i shall wear the crown while i beat him with the sausage rolls.

saggyhairyarse Fri 06-Nov-09 21:30:46

Not trying to trump you as I think our DHs are of the same stock.

Mine has a history of alcoholism and suicide and has drunk like a fish for 20 years. He does no exercise and eatsthe wrong things. I made him go to the Drs for a liver function test and indeed he does have liver damage but to what extent I don't know as he couldn't remember what the nurse said.

6 weeks of drinking half of what he used to and taking milk thistle extract and we are back to square one FFS.

He will be my ex come New Year if he doesn't sort himself out.

sincitylover Fri 06-Nov-09 21:51:03

the sad thing is that if someone is hellbent on destruction there is nothing that anyone can do.

And as people have said you don't want to have this mother/son type relationship.

Someone hinted this week that I might be a rescuer (difft situation but connected to a man) and although I deny it it did get me thinking a bit.

Sorry for your situation op sounds awful and I know that feeling of wanting to save someone from themselves but possibly have to take a step back.

The spasm thing sounds very scary btw.

blinks Sat 07-Nov-09 02:52:58

oh gawd saggy, that sounds serious...

my arse stopped drinking years ago thankfully and hasn't touched it since. i couldn't be with someone who has an active drinking problem.... it's so damaging.

i really hope your dh gets it together.

according to DH he has had no coffee for three days now, he tried peppermint and green tea today and also managed breakfast, lunch and dinner in one day.

i may let him sniff my sash if he continues in this vein...

cruisemum1 Sat 07-Nov-09 17:49:46

SHA - are you sure my dh is not a bigamist?!grin

cruisemum1 Sat 07-Nov-09 17:51:00

blinks - could you rephrase that - it sounds quite disgusting! shockgrin

katemumtwo Sun 08-Nov-09 13:58:27

Hmmm, lives on crap, family history of heart disease and strokes... Wouldn't worry about it if I were you - sounds like it will sort itself out quite nicely within the next couple of years. Take out a nice big life insurance policy, sit back and plan that round the world trip.

Bonsoir Sun 08-Nov-09 14:00:25

The prize is a great divorce settlement grin.

lubo Sun 08-Nov-09 14:28:06

how funny do you sound - sounds like you also live with a caveman!!!!

TrillianAstra Sun 08-Nov-09 14:33:11

No, there is no prize, there is in fact no reason to be living with "the most irritating and/or infantile man, so why exactly are you doing it?

ADifferentMe Sun 08-Nov-09 16:36:51

Cruisemum/SHA - make that a trigamist!!

This week I've even asked the dentist to have a word with him next time (if) he visits blush. The dentist actually gave the same advice as Katemumtwo - insurance!

As well as the smoking and drinking, he won't eat all day, lives on black coffee with 3 sugars until dinner at 7pm. And he doesn't clean his teeth......

But he's a nice man!

i think you should get a wand that flashes to go with your crown

cruisemum1 Sun 08-Nov-09 21:47:27

god he sounds so like mine! Black coffee all day, wine as early as he can get it. 2 bottles per night usually. Only eats shit curry's, never seen him eat a piece of fruit, falls asleep for most of the evening if he is in. Getting lazier about the house/garden as days go by. Barely partipates in family meals etc. hey ho

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