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Marrying after many years together

(5 Posts)
commeuneimage Thu 05-Nov-09 00:17:33

I have a friend who's marrying her long-term partner. They have been living together for 18 years. It seems perfectly sensible, but I seem to remember reading that marriages in those circumstances quite often break down very quickly. (Maybe when the relationship has gone a bit stale and the couple think getting married might perk it up a bit?) I know you can't generalise but just wondered if anyone had any experience of this, good or bad?

anonymous85 Thu 05-Nov-09 00:34:35

A bit weird, I wouldn't be thinking like that about my friends marriage to be. Like you want to know the odds on if they'll split or not?? Good on them I say!

commeuneimage Thu 05-Nov-09 00:45:25

Ha, Anon, you are astute. I am interested in what the odds are, particularly as the husband has confided in mine that he has had an affair in the past. Pure nosiness and speculation, but are they making a positive and lasting commitment, or papering over the cracks? It interests me.

akhems Thu 05-Nov-09 03:55:30

wellllllll........ I married my ex husband after we'd been together for 7 years... 2 years later we were divorced.

He seemed to change after the marriage, became more and more domineering and controlling.

MyHeadIsSpinning Thu 05-Nov-09 07:52:05

I was with my STBXH for 14 years when we got married. Absolutely the right decision for both of the time.

7 months later however he was having an affair and just 2 years into the marriage I filed for divorce

Personally I don't think length of time together is an indicator of whether a marriage will work. It takes effort and love to make any relationship work. If one of your or both isn't prepared to work or indeed if you are getting married to paper over the cracks then the marriage, in my opinion, is doomed.

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