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(5 Posts)
claire0479 Wed 04-Nov-09 23:53:11

hi help please anyone got any advice for me im feeling very low in my self im married 4 kids 2 with autisum and adha i recentley went to the docs as im always cold and shakey he told me i was suffering depression but i think someone in my household is trying to play mind games with me my hubby thinks i dream stuff the kids have started talking to me rubbish i feel very alone and i dont want this feeling no more ive had enough some friends say my hubbys the problem ive just lost 9 stone and feel great for it and now hes jelous he doesnt like me going out

GroundhogsRocketScientist Thu 05-Nov-09 00:19:57

YOU LOST 9 stone, was that really 9? WOW! WELL DONE GIRL!!

What do you specifically need advice on?

If the Dr has put you on some medicine, I hope that's working out for you.

I lost 3 stone once, (amateur in comparison to you!! smile) and one of the things the counsellor said to me was that weight los does affect some relationships, so it could be that this massive change you have made could have some impact on him.

What exactly is happening? How can we help you?

claire0479 Thu 05-Nov-09 23:14:53

he doesnt like me goin out at all our kids are missing out im a women whos always loved out doors in all weather yes it was 9 stone i lost ive always been knocked down when im feeling high about myself so then im low i often cry myself to sleep its affecting me big time

EcoMouse Fri 06-Nov-09 03:01:20

He doesn't like you going out? He says you dream stuff? He's encouraging your children to disrespect you?

What happens if you go out or take the children out against his wishes?

He sounds ike a total prick. Has he always been this controlling?

What's good about your relationship with him?

So far, it sounds as though leaving him would be a good place to start in raising your self esteem and finding happiness!

Awhowcutewhentheysleep Fri 06-Nov-09 09:49:35

Honey, you need to get out of that situation.

I had a hard time losing weight after my youngest and my ex was always saying he didn't want me to. I was diagnosed with an under active thyroid and was 13 stone (not massively over weight I know but I've alwaysbeen about 9.5).He told me I wasn't ill and the doctor was over exaggerating.Then I caught a cold and couldn't breath so again went to docs who told me my asthma from childhood was back and again it was the doc being over the top according to my ex.

I lost the weight and was always told I was too thin and it looked bad on me.I had only lost it when medication kicked in and dropped to 10 stone. Again not to small. Everytime I see him now he says "you've got too thin" even though I've lost no weight.

Its mind games and power. The imagining things is a classic. My ex used to deny I had told him things when I knew I had. I used to arrange going out with my friends and the babies but he wouldn't let me if I had told him or asked him in advance. So when I told him I was leaving to meet them he'd flip saying I was being sneaky and hadn't told him therefore I couldn't go.

Don't let himcontrol you, it takes tremendous strength to lose that amount of weight so don't let him crush you with his belittling you. If you think he is messing with your head start writing things down. If you tell himsomething or do something even stuff that is happening everyday write it down, then you can refer to it if he says you havent done it. Its how I broke the cycle. I realised how much he was messing with me and it gave me strength.

You're worth more than this. Stand tall and proud.You have beautiful children and a new lease of life, use it xx

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