Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I know I am going to leave him

(5 Posts)
worthmore Wed 04-Nov-09 07:42:44

It's inevitable... how do I do it.
Worried about our son and worried about his mental health, and worried about money. Will he come and find me? Not too many details, I know, but this is all I can manage at the moment. Please help.

ginnny Wed 04-Nov-09 11:14:35

Its hard to say from the little you have posted but the first step would be to go tot he CAB to work out your options re benefits and get some legal advice.
If you are scared he'll be violent then Womans Aid is the way to go.
Get everything straight in your head and have a plan in place then tell him (or not if he'll kick off) and then go.
You will be fine. Your dc will be fine.
Good luck

worthmore Wed 04-Nov-09 15:59:57

I think I am just looking for inspiration for how to do it. I need to get my plan in place, and talk to as many advisors as I can. It's hard cos I haven't spoken to anyone about it... so have no-one to talk to about it. He's never been violent but is threatening when he thinks I will leave with DS. I really don't know what he would do if I left... I just want it to be amicable and for him to understand how unreasonable he is.

Awhowcutewhentheysleep Wed 04-Nov-09 20:18:10

You need to find somewhere to go. Thats the first step.Work out where and then the costs etc. You can apply to your local councils housing tell them he is threatening and they can start to help. If there is nothing on their lists then they can help you get a rented property. They can help with the deposit or they have a bond agreement with rental company. Crisis loan wil,l sort out first months rent if required. Benefits will cover you for Income support if child under 7 definately they get huffy if its over. Speak to your health visitor too. They helped me. I was moved as an emergency to get me away frommy ex. It is easier to stand up to them when you are out of immediate risk. Honestly it is. Threatening is still classed as domestic violence. They don't have to actually touch you, mental abuse is still abuse.

Stay strong and update when you can. I'll try dig out info I have left over from my similar situation. The law and the girlies are all on your side.

Sending hugs. XX

worthmore Sun 08-Nov-09 13:08:18

I don't know how or when I am going to do this, but yes I will get everything lined up and a plan in place.
thanks for your help and support

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: