Apologies if this comes up twice- having computer probs.
Basically my H who left me 3 months ago following an affair, has recently told me he'd like to work on our marriage and asked if I'll take him back.
We have a 9 month old DD who we both absolutely adore and we have really bonded over her and despite everything there is still a deep affection between us and we spend alot of time together despite being "separated." We were together for 10 years before his affair.
The problem is, I still cannot trust him. I know he's had contact with the OW since he left and the timing of his affair was absolutely awful- I was 9 months pregnant, an discovered it 2 weeks after my DD was born.
Anyway, perhaps stupidly, I texted the OW to ask if they were still involved. I had her number still from nasty texts she sent me after I confronted her initially in my shocked and devestated state.
She texted back denying any current involvement then the next day sent me a really nasty text accusing me of being the "final nail in the coffin" in her marriage and that because of my texts, her husband was leaving her. No remorse, no guilt, no apology, just pure hatred from her to me.
She sent my H similar texts, blaming him for her H leaving her and lots of abuse with it.
I know my H is responsible for breaking OUR wedding vows, but surely she is responsible for her own marriage???? She has a child, which is why I caould never forgive her part in it when she knew what the first few weeks of being a new mum is like but she didn't seem to care.
I've felt sick ever since, as if I've been dragged months back in time when she initially sent me nasty texts when I discovered their affair. Texts which made me feel I was responsible for my H's infidelity.
I can't believe someone could be soo selfish and nasty as to blame the wife of the man you had an affair with for the breakdown of your own marriage.
Just soo angry at her- can't seem to let it go. Feel she got off VERY lightly as I never contacted her H or caused alot of bother for her. I kept it between me and my H and hence we subsequently separated while she stayed with her hsuband!!!!!
Help me to let this go please.
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Relationships
Soo angry at OW's text
helpmeoutofthismess · 04/11/2009 00:09
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