Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am i overreacting?

(7 Posts)
Lucymoo Thu 16-Jun-05 08:17:32

Hello,i have absolutely no problem with my dp going out,he goes out 2 or 3 times a week.The thing that really annoys me is that he comes home at really stupid hours,like 4 or sometimes 6am.I know he's not up to know good,he just goes back to mates places.I cant sleep till he gets in,this morning me and ds got up just as he came in!He says he's sorry and doesnt mean to stay out that long.Am i overreacting,or not enough?

koalabear Thu 16-Jun-05 08:21:45

i would say it depends on the type of relationship you have and the agreements you have between you - do you have children? does he work? do you work? does he going out effect any of that?

my personal view is that if you are in a relationship with another (and living with them) then you have a responsbility to the other person to "do no harm" - care for them, love them, make them happy if you can etc.

given that, the overriding factor for me would be whether this upsets you (which is clearly does), and whether your DP knows how you feel and why

hermykne Thu 16-Jun-05 08:26:40

unacceptable IMO, he's a dad and got responsibilities to you and your son.
he's taking the p* at you, sorry to be blunt but honeslty once a month not 2/3 times a week
and if you dont have a problem with it the nyou should have not a problem trying to sleep!!, lucymoo why is he out , does he not want to be with oyu and your child?

stitch Thu 16-Jun-05 08:31:20

why is he staying out so late on a regular basis. doesnt he like t at home? if so, tell him not to bother coming back at all. that might make him see sense. he's not a 17 yr old kid any more. he's a dad, a partner has responsibilities. and staying out all night threee nights a week isnt right.

Lucymoo Thu 16-Jun-05 08:32:51

We have a really good relationship on the whole.We have a 14month old ds,im not working at the moment and dp is at college.I suppose we both feel tired the days after he's been out.He knows that i get peeded off with the late/early hours and i know he doesnt do it to deliberately upset or hurt me,i just wish he had more consideration.I think ive gone on to a bit of a moan!!!

koalabear Thu 16-Jun-05 08:37:50

lucymoo - my son is same age - once a month my husband goes out with the "boys" and i don't mind - he also does stuff on weekends, but we try to do things together - but 2/3 times a week without you? imo, that's leading a separate life which i would be particularly excluded from, and i wouldn't be very happy about it

Lucymoo Thu 16-Jun-05 08:40:16

I have always said that even though we've got ds i still want him to go out,so i suppose ive brought it all on myself.We do have great nights in together and out the rare occasions i go out.I know he definatey wants to be with me and ds,he's a great dad.I think perhaps its time for us to have a PROPER chat about his nights out!Thanks for all your advice and messages.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: