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I feel guilty now but should I?

(5 Posts)
loobie63 Wed 28-Oct-09 12:58:30

Hi everyone this is my first post here but i have been lurking for a while seen that you give honest sound advice so i wonder if you can help me with this please?

Bit of background,about 5 years ago I had a bit of a flirt by e mail thing going on with a guy at work we were both married and it was wrong it never ever became more than e mails/texts. I was obviously unhappy in my marriage because my husband had an affair 6 yrs ago and i suppose this work guy made me feel attractive again.
Eventually it just kind of died out on my part because I knew it was wrong and if i'm honest i felt uncomfortable doing it, we sort of stayed as friends but he always turned the conversations around to sex again especially after my husband left me last year it's like he took it that I am single therefore his to play with over e mail and text again. I have not flirted back and in fact mostly just answer normal questions or conversation and ignored the smutty bits.

He was made redundant from work 6 months ago I thought phew problem solved but now he has a new job and has started e mailing again, today he mailed me and I forwarded it to my best mate at work with a FFS he's pestering me again comment. Somehow and i have no idea how he got copied in on my forwarded mail to my friend shock I have checked my forwarded mail and he is definitely not listed to get it, I should add here that he is an IT expert! He replied saying really nasty things and that he is deleting me from his phone etc. Initially i felt good thats that then but i also have a bit of guilt that I may of hurt his feelings.
What would you do? forget it? Am I being silly feeling guilty over this? I did after all tell him a long time ago that I wanted out because it was wrong.

WhenwillIfeelnormal Wed 28-Oct-09 13:34:58

Is he still married? If so, any more nonsense and creepy behaviour like this should result in a "If you don't stop contacting me, I'm sure your wife would like to see what you've been sending me." Guilt? Not a bit of it - towards him at least. It sounds like he has committed a criminal offence i.e. somehow hacking into your E mail. I'm sure his new bosses would be less than impressed too....

Hurt feelings? This man is an opportunist, assumes because you are now single, you're gagging for a shag and thought you'd accept his offer. His feelings would be the least of my worries.

loobie63 Wed 28-Oct-09 13:43:10

Thankyou whenwillIfeelnormal , yes he is still married and has a young daughter which is mainly why a long time ago I said woah stop.

I think I am just too soft sometimes for my own good, thanks for putting it in perspective for me I won't give him another thought

dittany Wed 28-Oct-09 13:48:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loobie63 Wed 28-Oct-09 13:54:03

yes that has freaked me out a bit if I'm honest, far better off without somebody like that and although not in the way I would have wanted at least it dealt with the problem.

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