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Someone slap me and tell me Im an arse

(8 Posts)
Imanarse Wed 28-Oct-09 10:52:52

I'm so fed up, had loads going on in the past year, becoming a carer for my mum, being the main thing. I am now facing potential homelessness (due to not being able to care for mum), I'm forgetting to pay bills, I'm angry all the time, I have no motivation in my job (I only work 18 hours per week, but rarely manage to stay for them and usually sneak off early), and I'm snapping at my lovely, well behaved DD ALL the time.

However, I have recently started seeing someone. Was supposed to be a casual thing (he lives a long way away and he's younger than me), but we clicked. He makes me laugh, sex is great and he understands what I'm going through.

Here's where I need the slap...I'm being a complete bitch. I'm doing things that i've never done before, playing silly mind games so that he has to say things, for example saying 'right i'm off now' when we speak on teh phone and then being stroppy when he says 'ok, speak to you tomorrow' as I don't want to go and want him to say 'don't go'. I'm behaving like the most annoying type of teenager (and it was a long time ago since I was a teenager) and I hate it.

I feel like I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face, I'm seeing problems that don't exist, I'm over analysing everything, every word, every gesture and seeing the worst in everything.

He has given me absolutely no reason to behave like this (apart from being slightly less enthusiastic, but he assures me that he is, it's just him and I do understand that, we're all different).

How do I stop being so needy, when I am so needy?

Reading that back I do sound like a immature brat. I promise I'm not, not normally anyway. I'm trying really hard not to do it, when we're speaking though I can almost feel a veil of anger come over me.

BEAUTlFUL Wed 28-Oct-09 11:57:32

<Slap> You're an arse. smile

You'd do much better to focus on the problems in your first paragraph than anything about some bloke.

CarGirl Wed 28-Oct-09 11:59:52

can you ask your gp to refer you to their counsellor for a few sessions sounds like their is a lot going on emotionally and it's all getting on top of you.

PotPourri Wed 28-Oct-09 12:00:56

Ditto to what Beautiful said. Try not to focus on the guy - that's not the problem from what you have said.

PrettyCandles Wed 28-Oct-09 12:07:43

I don't think you're an arse. I think you're overwhelmed.

"I'm forgetting to pay bills, I'm angry all the time, I have no motivation ... I'm snapping at my lovely, well behaved DD ALL the time"

"I'm behaving like the most annoying type of teenager ... and I hate it."

When I say these sort of things to a MHP, they ask me to consider whether I might be depressed.


Imanarse Wed 28-Oct-09 16:19:38


I appreciate what you're saying and I know I should concentrate on the important stuff and not worry about some 'bloke'.

I do however concentrate on the important stuff, it is all I think about and have thought about every day for the last year and a bit, I wake up sweating in the night thinking about it, however I do also need to know how to deal with said 'bloke' (though tbh I just feel really selfish now even considering thinking about starting a relationship with someone).

You're right, I'm probably depressed.

Thanks for your feedback

mathanxiety Wed 28-Oct-09 16:23:05

I would wonder about depression too, and also maybe something needs sorting out in your relationship with your mum. It's hard to reverse roles. Seems as if you're trying to get some 'looking after' for yourself and not dealing well all the time with the parenting and responsible bill-paying adult roles?

PrettyCandles Wed 28-Oct-09 16:24:16

Let go. Enjoy your new relationshp. You are allowed to be selfish from time to time, and this sounds l8ike one of those times. Tell him you need extra cherishing and extra-special mollycoddling.

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