met a new chap just over a month ago, he's really nice, kind, thoughtful, dishy, makes me laugh, thinks I'm beautiful is good in bed and is in the same boat as me, ie, seperated with his 2 kids living with him..
He has just told me that he loves me... and would like to spend the rest of his life with me... now to me love is what is left over when the initial passion wears off, its the way someone looks, smell, act, etc... and I won't ever say 'I love you' unless I'm 100% that I really mean it...
I've told him, we'll see if he still feels the same is a few months.. I need to be sure that he's not on the rebound, just likes to have a girlfriend, or lonely or something... I also hate the thought that he's making me out to be something I'm not... and he reasures me that he's never e v e r felt this way before and its so out of character for him, and he just had to let me know how he felt....
please tell me if you believe in love at first sight, and how long it took you and your partner to fall in love with each other, oh.. and how did falling in love feel to you... I think I've only really been in love with my ex... he was a complete arse, and total opposite to this guy....
sorry, rereading that sounded a bit stark. Yes it is perfectly possible to think, after just a few weeks that you love someone. You are right in wanting to wait to see if his feelings stand the test of time.
I am just curious as to why you did not mention YOUR feelings
I don't think my initial passion has worn off yet iykwim... -I really look forward to seeing him, -I smile when I see its him ringing me or texting me, -look forward to seeing him -spend most of my day thinking about him -want to drop his name into most conversation -go swoony when I do think of him....
He's told his mum about me and I will think that she'll be really disapointed when she meets me as I'm ... just me... I don't think I'm anything special...
my partner fell, in love with me before we even dated, he chased me for a year or so years, and then i started to see him in a different light, something changed, and i couldn't be without him. In total he's loved me a lot longer than i loved him, but i def believe in love at first sight, and love that comes softly, now we are both crazy in love with each other.
I wish you all the luck in your future relationship.
Maybe he is a lovely man who's in love with you. However, he could be a nobber who is obsessed with control and doesn't actually 'love' you at all - unfortunately it's a common trait of a certain type of very undesirable partner to be all madly passionate from very early on. How does he talk about his XPs? If they were all allegedly bitches who really hurt him and didn't understand him, then that's a danger signal.
maybe sgb... but, she left him for another man.. they are still friends.... I don't see myself as being needy or dependent on him... he says he's never felt this way before... (yes, just words I know) always asks what I want to do... what I think... does that sound like controling... <<clueless>>
-I really look forward to seeing him, -I smile when I see its him ringing me or texting me, -look forward to seeing him -spend most of my day thinking about him -want to drop his name into most conversation -go swoony when I do think of him....
See, all those things also apply to me re DH and we have been married nearly 30 years! So by your reckoning I am not at the 'in love' stage yet!
FWIW, we both said the 'I love You' stuff after just a couple of weeks. because of my age at the time, sex didn't happen for a couple of years and marriage was a couple of years after that! But I would say that yes, we both fell in love very early on.
Hey willitknock, can completely empathise with those feelings. I would say take your time and get to know him a better, and make sure you feel the same. Do you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Sadly I can't use my partner as a comparison.
How did he react when you didn't roll over with your legs in the air, though? If he got a bit petulant and huffy, proceed with extreme caution. If he said, 'Fair enough' or something similar, he probably is a nice guy. Some people are simply more emotionally demonstrative than others, but some men do use 'I love you' as a bit of a weapon, it's supposed to be a button they can push to make a woman do what they want her to do.
Love develops over time, I have been married 11 years and together 13. We have had ups and downs and round and rounds, there are times when I cant stand being around him, other times when I panic if he is not there.
In a month? no, you are still in lust at that point, how many people break up after a year because things have changed. However on the other hand it does work.
Need to give it plenty more time and enjoy the romance and the fun, do good stuff together and let it take its course.
To me, love is the great oak trees of life and no matter how bad the storm, they hang in there ready to see many more years of fine weather.They grow and die they flower and there are falling leaves. They take time to get to the size they are.
I don't think love necessarily develops over time. I believe you can love quickly and deeply. Love, to me, is indivual; there is no set answer. It may take someone years to feel the same love that others do in weeks/months or vise versa, it's just individual. Being with someone for longer doesn't have to mean you love them more imo.