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Is this funny?

(42 Posts)
scubadoo Sun 25-Oct-09 12:18:54

My DH made a joke about putting me in hospital. I felt like he'd threatened me and I was upset because I had been joking about going out in a short dress (basically a fitted shirt) and he spoilt what was meant to be a lighthearted conversation. He's just unpleasant to be around now.

RealityBites Sun 25-Oct-09 12:20:03

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Tortington Sun 25-Oct-09 12:20:45

depends on the context and tone.

a-la peter kay " get back you bastards or i'll break yer legs"

really depends on tone

Tortington Sun 25-Oct-09 12:21:33

however if you feel threatened thats what counts.

ShinyAndNew Sun 25-Oct-09 12:25:20

What custy said. DH used to do that to me. He now knows that any such 'joke' will be met with an icy stare and he won't get sex for a month. He would never actually hurt me and for some reason, known only to him, the threats were 'funny' and he was 'only messing about' hmm

You know him best. Do you think he meant it? How would he react if you really did wear a short dress? It's upto you what length skirt you wear.

scubadoo Sun 25-Oct-09 12:39:19

No, I was joking, the shirt was hip length so obviously far too short, and I had tights and boots on. I asked in a vacant manner "'ja 'fink ma dress is too shor' ?" and he said, abruptly "yes!" so I said "I'm joking" to which he answered "I know you are because if you weren't you'd be in hospital!" WTF!

littleducks Sun 25-Oct-09 12:52:52

hospital as in 'insane'? that could be an unfunny joke
but hospital as in i'd batter the shit out of you as you are my property is not even an unfunny joke

poshsinglemum Sun 25-Oct-09 16:22:18

i don't think it's funny in any context really. Is this a one off?

If it's becoming a pattern be very careful.

scubadoo Sun 25-Oct-09 19:17:11

He didn't mean a mental hospital. He has made other threats before, like threatening to leave me or find someone else, but never directly threatened my person before. He has also recently hidden some of my mail.

Doha Sun 25-Oct-09 19:48:24

Why are you still with this twat who has made threats to you... Now he is hiding your mail--whatever next ??

Let him leave he is an arse.

overmydeadbody Sun 25-Oct-09 19:52:40

So he regularly makes these low level threats to keep you in your place?

And he hides your mail?

Do you want reassurance that this is normal because you are going to stay with him or are you thinking of actually doing something about it and confronting it?

halfcut Sun 25-Oct-09 19:56:22

sounds like a right charmer hmm

slimeoncrazydemon Sun 25-Oct-09 20:01:36

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 25-Oct-09 20:22:03

That doesn't sound like a joke at all. He's communicating to you that the only reason he has not hospitalised you is that you toe the line and dress as he says. That's an awful, threatening and abusive thing to say. It shows a really awful, disrespectful, violent attitude.

SolidGhoulBrass Sun 25-Oct-09 20:24:54

Do you have DC with this man? Are you financially dependent on him? If no to both, what are you waiting for, leave tonight. If you have DC and/or no money, ring WOmen's Aid for help, support and practical advice. BUt don't ignore this, he is going to get worse, not better. He will be hitting you within a couple of months. Has he starteed 'accidentally' bumping into you or treading on your toes yet?

AboardtheAxiom Sun 25-Oct-09 20:25:37

blimey what a knob end!

agree with everyone else kat's post sums it up well. Hiding your mail too?! Has he always been like this?

scubadoo Sun 25-Oct-09 23:31:19

He seems to be getting worse. I am studying at the moment and he's been unbelievably unsupportive. Fortunately I have other friends who are supportive. I could really do with him just being pleasant. That would do, but instead it's silence, grunts and now, apparently, threats.

GhoulishFan Sun 25-Oct-09 23:40:57

He doesn't seem to be getting worse.

He IS getting worse.

It's different...

Leave. Soon.... before you are in hospital (these things usually happen, somewhere down the road)

ShinyAndNew Sun 25-Oct-09 23:42:57

Could he be worried that you are 'bettering' yourself and might have a better career/job prospects etc than him? Or meet some one better?

Has he always been controlling?

thesunshinesbrightly Sun 25-Oct-09 23:57:37

I agree with shinyandnew.

piratecat Mon 26-Oct-09 00:00:29

scary shit.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 26-Oct-09 06:52:04

He's not going to be pleasant and supportive because it's not him. Why are you waiting for him to change into a different person? That just doesn't happen.

Besom Mon 26-Oct-09 07:11:59

From what you've said it's a deliberate and worrying threat. No two ways about it.

I agree with others that you'd do well to get out of this relationship before it escalates. Even if it never escalates, it's still unacceptable. Hope you're OK.

junglist1 Mon 26-Oct-09 08:42:01

That comment was designed to prime you for future violence. The next step is breaking stuff, if you accept that the slap comes. After that anything goes. Hiding your mail is very worrying aswell. That's sinister. There's no point talking to him about it really, he'll end up reassuring you.
My boys dad would say he was supportive of my studying, but he wasn't. He used to bring his mates round stressing me, say I thought I was big etc. Get out now and avoid what's coming.

scubadoo Mon 26-Oct-09 08:49:05

He was away for a couple of days and it was nice.

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