My DH made a joke about putting me in hospital. I felt like he'd threatened me and I was upset because I had been joking about going out in a short dress (basically a fitted shirt) and he spoilt what was meant to be a lighthearted conversation. He's just unpleasant to be around now.
What custy said. DH used to do that to me. He now knows that any such 'joke' will be met with an icy stare and he won't get sex for a month. He would never actually hurt me and for some reason, known only to him, the threats were 'funny' and he was 'only messing about'
You know him best. Do you think he meant it? How would he react if you really did wear a short dress? It's upto you what length skirt you wear.
No, I was joking, the shirt was hip length so obviously far too short, and I had tights and boots on. I asked in a vacant manner "'ja 'fink ma dress is too shor' ?" and he said, abruptly "yes!" so I said "I'm joking" to which he answered "I know you are because if you weren't you'd be in hospital!" WTF!
He didn't mean a mental hospital. He has made other threats before, like threatening to leave me or find someone else, but never directly threatened my person before. He has also recently hidden some of my mail.
That doesn't sound like a joke at all. He's communicating to you that the only reason he has not hospitalised you is that you toe the line and dress as he says. That's an awful, threatening and abusive thing to say. It shows a really awful, disrespectful, violent attitude.
Do you have DC with this man? Are you financially dependent on him? If no to both, what are you waiting for, leave tonight. If you have DC and/or no money, ring WOmen's Aid for help, support and practical advice. BUt don't ignore this, he is going to get worse, not better. He will be hitting you within a couple of months. Has he starteed 'accidentally' bumping into you or treading on your toes yet?
He seems to be getting worse. I am studying at the moment and he's been unbelievably unsupportive. Fortunately I have other friends who are supportive. I could really do with him just being pleasant. That would do, but instead it's silence, grunts and now, apparently, threats.
That comment was designed to prime you for future violence. The next step is breaking stuff, if you accept that the slap comes. After that anything goes. Hiding your mail is very worrying aswell. That's sinister. There's no point talking to him about it really, he'll end up reassuring you. My boys dad would say he was supportive of my studying, but he wasn't. He used to bring his mates round stressing me, say I thought I was big etc. Get out now and avoid what's coming.