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how doI explain to my son about his father

(8 Posts)
ariellekellan Fri 23-Oct-09 12:55:33

My partner and I split up when I was 10 weeks pregnant, he promised to be there for me and the baby but lo and behold 8 weeks ago he disappeared of the face of the earth. I have since found out he is back with an ex and he wants nothing to do with me or our unborn son.

I grew up without ever meeting my father and I really didnt want the same for my child but obviously this is beyond my control.

I'd like some advice on how to approach the subject when my son is at the curious age, wondering why its just the two of us. I wont be saying anything negative but wonder if any other ladies have approached this subject and how?

sorry if im babbling its been playing on my mind. any advice is more than welcome xx

overmydeadbody Fri 23-Oct-09 12:58:17

Just always talk about how all families are different and point out differences in different families you know. Then your child is less likely to wonder why it is just the two of oyu and just accept it as what his family is.

His father is little more than a sperm donor is he?

overmydeadbody Fri 23-Oct-09 12:59:18

You might get more responses if you post this in the lone parents section btw.

JeMeSouviens Fri 23-Oct-09 13:32:11

I always knew that I was adopted my my dad, and had a father somewhere. There was no big revelation when I was older. So I would say, just start talking to him very early on about it, (you have a father but we don't seem him right now) so it is always part of him, this knowledge.

ariellekellan Sun 25-Oct-09 15:45:22

thank you jeme, its been playing on my mind im sure it will work out fine.

i didnt know there was a lone parents section.

poshsinglemum Sun 25-Oct-09 16:13:16

Hi there- I'm in the same situation and I also worry about this.

I guess the way to go about it is to explain that all families are different. Try not to slag his dad off and mabe explain that he can contact his dad if he wants to but not to be disappointed (impossible really) if he rejects him.
Most of all try to be as happy as possible (good for you, your son and the best revenge.)

I'm sorry that your ex is such a tosser. I bet this is knawing away at him and will do forever more. I know it may seem like he dosn't give a toss but I always make myself feel better as I know that men who abandon their own kids are not very happy and also not nice peopel. He will get his just deserts in one way or another!

poshsinglemum Sun 25-Oct-09 16:17:23


SCARYspicemonster Sun 25-Oct-09 16:18:10

I am a single mother by choice and I have already started telling my DS about his origins (he's 2). He doesn't really understand me but it helps me to get the words right and get used to talking about it to him. There are plenty of children who only have one parent - either through accident or design - and (from the research I've read) always knowing the truth about your origins seems to be key to feeling okay about it.

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