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How can I do my best in this situation?

(4 Posts)
HelishAngel Thu 22-Oct-09 15:51:40

I'm 39 and 17 wks pg with DC no 4. I feel so blessed but in a nutshell, my relationship with the bio father was in tatters before I broke the news back in early August. The revelation of this pregnancy sealed the deal and I ended our (2 yr) relationship for good, no longer able to cope with his lies and infidelities. I finally got the wake up call. He was/is a narcissist I'm afraid! So to be fair, there was no hope!

He has rejected our unborn child, has no interest whatsoever. It's not a source of narcissistic supply though so I didn't expect anything less BUT it still hurts and I'm wondering what the hell I can do to make sure this wee one is ok, other than the obvious masses of love and support, so they don't feel heavily rejected by their bio father.

In the short time I've had to reflect, I wouldn't have him back in a million years and wish I'd done this long ago. Has anyone been through something similar? Any words of wisdom/advice/comfort?

I am finding this pregnancy to be just totally amazing but it's marred by recent events and becoming an increasingly lonely experience. Everything seems so geared up to women and their 'partners'...not something I noticed when I had my other DC, I guess because their Dad was indeed my partner and we shared so much! This is a whole new experience for me, and I'm finding it really tough!!!

Thanks for taking the time to read folks! x

6feetundertheGroundhogs Sat 24-Oct-09 10:56:00

You did nothing wrong in getting rid of him, it's tragic that you are having to go through this alone, but you will get through it, you are a very stong woman!

I would say you are justified to feel a little sensitive over everything being geared to mums and partners etc, but you can take pride in knowing that you made this choice and it's the best thing for you and for your DC.

It's good that you are finding the PG so amazing, try to keep focussed on that, let all the negative stuff roll off your back...

Being without such a disfunctional partner is a blessing, and a necessary one.

One day at a time eh? All the best to you! Remember MN is always here to get you through the dark days!

HelishAngel Sat 24-Oct-09 15:28:25

Thanks so much 6feetundertheGroundhogs...I needed your post today.

I know I am and will get there one day at a time. It's all still a bit of a blur but comes into focus more and more.

I am often reminded of the absolute, innate peace and relief I felt when I said that final goodbye to him. Never felt such a true feeling. It spoke reams.

Although I'm relatively new here, reading and posting helps. Support is so important.

Thanks again!

6feetundertheGroundhogs Sat 24-Oct-09 21:27:34

Oh god, yes, there are some wonderful people here, and there is always someone about, no matter what time it is!!

Deep breath, you are a clever and strong woman, this little one will be proud to have such a tower of strength for a mum!

It does all get better, you wait and see!

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